Merry Christmas, Santa Clause

My class illustrated the poem "Twas the Night Before Christmas" this week. They were each assigned to copy one couplet of the poem, and then draw the illustration that would go along with that piece. (And believe me, I got some real gems.)

One little boy was assigned this line: "The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, And the smoke encircled his head like a wreath."

He came to me confused, and when I explained the line, his eyes grew really wide, and he blurted,

"HE SMOKES? HE WORKS FOR HEAVENLY FATHER, AND HE SMOKES?!"

Nothing like a little classic literature to get you in a holiday mood!

Tagged

I got tagged. I didn't know about this phenomenon, but luckily, it came with instructions attached.

The rules: A. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning. B. Each player lists 6 facts/habits about themselves. C. At the end of the post, the player then tags 6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

#1. I love to be outside more than almost anything. Particular soft spots: whitewater rafting, hiking in Moab, and exploring in the woods. I believe that people are at least partially solar-powered, and as weird as it may sound, I think this kind of activity can have a huge influence on the way you feel.

#2. I have a deep-seated desire...no that's not taking it far enough...I have a NEED to have pets. One of my favorite games to play is "If I had a dog, I would name him/her....."
(Point and case: Russell just found a cat in the parking lot and I fed it 2 and a half hot dogs and a can of Russell's tuna.
Point and case #2: I fed a skinny dog half a roll of crackers a few days ago when my family made a pit stop on the way to Phoenix.)

#3. I love the water. I love to swim, wade, splash, float, row, water the garden, take a bath, etc. I worked as a life guard for 5 years, and I have been swimming since long before I can remember. I love it.

#4. I don't have a whole lot of shame. Or perhaps its just a lack of maturity. I make up nonsense songs and sing them in public places. I dance around parking lots, campus, and my classroom. I make sound effects when surprised or agitated. I have an entire costume box full of things like pirate swords, turbans, and kimonos. You get the idea.

#5. I'm a sucker for a good story. That'll get me every time.

#6. I have a fascination with names. I own 4 name books, and frequent baby name sites. I don't really know why. Maybe it stems from years of stupid name jokes. But I have lists and lists and lists of names stored away on computers, in journals, and on old scratch paper. However, I often call my friends and family by names that are not their own. For example, I have renamed all of my younger siblings. They are now Durd, Foreesto, and Normie. My niece and nephew are Moon Fry and Mowgli, my boyfriend is Wusso, and my dog is Pooper.

And now I tag someone else.... I tag Russ, Kelly, Annie, and Bryant. I do not expect that they will all actually respond. And yes, I realize that wasn't six people.

Dreaming of Pants

I went to sleep the other night with a t-shirt at the end of my bed.

I then had a dream I was trying to squeeze into little kid clothing.

When I woke up, I was wearing the t-shirt as a pair of pants. Seriously. I had one leg through the head hole and one leg through an arm hole.

I have no idea how that happened.

Math Problems

Today, I was talking my class through a tricky math problem dealing with clocks. They are still mastering the whole A.M./P.M. thing. One of my boys raised his hand and said:

"Miss Hulet, A.M. and P.M. might scare me if they were vampires."

I wasn't really sure how to respond to that...

I suppose that A.M./P.M. vampires would scare me too.

Killer Mermaids

My class just finished reading Peter Pan. They completed an assignment explaining which of the book's characters they would be and why.

Here are the results of the poll:

#1 Choice: Mermaids.
(Most of these votes came from boys. They were all very interested in the idea that the mermaids had tried to drown Wendy.)

#2 Choice: The Crocodile
(They were also interested in the fact that the Crocodile was trying to eat Capt. Hook.)

#3 Choice: Tinker Bell

Other answers that I thought were noteworthy: "A killer wolf," "Starkey the pirate," and "Princess Tiger Lily."

I was surprised by the results--I was sure the principle characters would get more votes. Also, I was a little concerned that my students were all so fixated on the potentially violent characters.

I thought it would be fun to be a lost girl. [Even though the book states that there are no lost girls, because girls are too clever to end up in Neverland.]

Who would you choose?

No rest for the weary

Last night I had a dream that I moved to work. I guess it was an attempt to save myself time. I set up my "bedroom" in the broom closet, and I cooked all my food in the teacher lounge microwave.

I guess you could say that work is stressing me out.

Young Love

This is a conversation I overheard in my classroom today. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Johnny (incredulous) : "Bobby, is it TRUE?!"
Bobby (with a smirk): "Yeah, why, you jealous?"
Johnny: "No--well, yeah, a little. When did you talk to her?"
Bobby: "Yesterday after school."

I was handing out papers, and I was so surprised by the shock in Johnny's voice that I looked to see what Bobby was doing. In his hands was a little homemade book. His initials were on the front alongside the initials of a little girl in my class. When I glanced her way, she had OBVIOUSLY overheard the boys' conversation, because she was gazing at Bobby with big dreamy eyes, and she was definitely blushing.

Apparently, love is in the air. They stood next to each other in line all day, and strategically positioned themselves so that they could sit together in music class. I also noted that Mr. Casanova had come to school in a collared shirt and snooty suit jacket, and he kept strutting around with that hilarious little smirk on his face.

I was flabbergasted. Boyfriends and girlfriends? IN SECOND GRADE?

Paxitron Ondomulae

This is Pax. I bought him just before school started. Here are some reasons that turtles make really good class pets.

A. They do not have much escape potential.
B. You do not have to mess with water-filled tanks.
C. They do not bite. (At least in my experience.)
D. They do not smell.
E. I've never heard of anyone being allergic to reptiles.

I chose him because, of all of the turtles in the pet store, he was the one who fought hardest to escape when the sales clerk turned him loose. He's an intrepid fellow, and my students adore him. I like him too. (Even if he is a little bit ornery.)

Durd

My brother's name is Dusty. (But I call him Durd.) He is an interesting fellow, because he comes up with rather creative ways to keep himself occupied. Here is a picture of one of his latest exploits:



Dusty is the one in the crocodile costume. He (and his roommate) are holding his beloved mannequin head, which has followed Dusty on many adventures (including his mission in Brazil). They have just finished running a 5k around Provo as part of the BYU Homecoming week activities. When the Daily Universe interviewed Durd about WHY he ran dressed as a gator, he shrugged and informed him that it was because of Lavell Edwards.

Durd's band is playing at Muse Music this Thursday night. If you're looking to add a little flavor to your evening, I can almost gaurantee SOMETHING weird will happen at that event. And if not, at least you'll get to hear a pretty cool show.

Outta Bed

Everyone has those mornings when you DO NOT want to get out of bed.

Not that I think you really care, but here are a few of the reasons I actually make it out of bed on those particularly rough days.

Epedemic

I teach 2nd grade.

Within the first 2 days of school, three of my students had legitimate bloody noses. Unfortunately, this seems to have started a trend. Now, my students have developed the habit of randomly getting up, running to the kleenex box, yanking out tissues by the fistful, and trying to shove as many of them up their nose as possible. Whether they have seen any blood or not.

After I realized we had decimated 5 boxes of tissues in 3 weeks, I put my foot down.

I'm not sure what triggers the desire to race madly to the tissue box, but I think it's going around.

Now, if only the kids who have boogers running down their faces would catch on to the trend.

Womanatee

I went to Sea World with my family a few years ago. It was there that I discovered my rather inexplicable fascination with...

MANATEES!

Okay, so they are not the most exciting animals, but when I watched them sail through the water like giant swimming blimps, I couldn't help myself. I started envisioning a huge manatee tank in my backyard. I could feed them heads of cabbage, and try to hang onto them as they turn over in the water. It's like swimming with the dolphins but in slow motion.

For the record, if I had a pet manatee I would name him Fatty Lumpkin.

But since I cannot afford a manatee, I decided that I would have to sponsor one instead.

One step closer to my dream, baby.

Gelato

I've never been to Italy, but I have a bit of an Italian fetish. So I was pretty stoked when I was informed that there a gelato shop just opened in Provo.

In my opinion, it left all the other dessert shops in Provo panting in the dust.

So here's the info:

Maestro's Gelato
Main street in Provo directly next door to Los Hermanos.
They may look like they're not open, but don't let the boarded-up look throw you.

Bryant and Ronnie were considering doing an advertisement campaign, which included Bryant dressed as a scoop on gelato and Ronnie chasing him through the streets of Provo dressed as a giant shovel/spoon. I think it would be very helpful for business.

I recommend the hazelnut flavor. (Unless you are Kelly.)

Now go! The little Italian dude in your soul will thank you.

Last day of school

Today (finally) is the last day of school.

We had planned a "field day," and I went to work expecting a low-stress program of activities.

Apparently, I will never learn that that is NOT how public education works!

One hour ago, I found myself speeding through downtown Payson with 30 pizzas stuffed into my truck. The secretary was calling my cell phone to beg me to drive faster. I could hear hungry kids screaming in the background. And the first parents would be arriving to pick up their students in about 20 minutes.

I actually feel that that scene was a rather appropriate way to end this school year. Quintessential.

And I'll probably end up missing it. Go figure.

Thievery

I planted my 1st garden this year, and I put in several strawberry plants. I was excited. REALLY exicted. I watched the plants with great interest, and waited in anticipation as the berries grew and started to turn red.

And then they disappeared.

Everytime a berry would show up and start to get ripe, I would return to find it missing.

Someone was stealing my strawberries!

Finally, a few weeks ago I encountered the thief.

A family of quail (including 12 babies that stood about 1.5 inches tall) have moved into my backyard.

I still haven't gotten to eat a single strawberry.

Could you pass Miss Hulet's class?

I gave my first "final" today, and now I am curious.

My 6th graders did pretty well. What grade would YOU get?

(Remember, no cheating!)

So, here it is. Sorry about the weird formatting, but I don't know how to connect the text file to the blog.

Mythology Final

Fill in the blanks!

Greek Name.........Roman Name.........In charge of........ Attribute

[Insert]....................Jupiter........................[insert]..................... Powerful
Hades..............[insert]..........................[insert]....................... Gloomy
Poseidon................[insert]..................... Oceans, horses...............[insert]

[insert]...............Juno............... Queen, women...............[insert]

Hermes..................[insert]..................[insert].................... Energetic
[insert]..................Vulcan ...............The forge, blacksmiths..........[insert]

[insert].................Ceres.................... Plants and the harvest........[insert]
Aphrodite...............Venus...............[insert]....................[insert]
[insert].................[insert]..............................War....................... Violent
Apollo..............[insert]......................... Sun, music................[insert]
[insert]..............Diana .......................Moon, hunting...............[insert]
[insert]..............Vesta ............................[insert].......................Gentle

Matching: Write the letter of the description that corresponds with each of the names below.

Athena

Arachne
Kronos
Medusa
Crete
Prometheus
Persephone
Minotaur
Otos
Theseus
Athens .
Daedylus
Pandora

A. Created humans and was punished for giving them fire.
B. The island kingdom of King Minos.
C. Gave string to Ariadne to help rescue the Athenian youth.
D. Goddess who jumped from Zeus's head wearing armor.
E. Giant who attempted to attack Mt. Olympus.
F. Weaver girl who was turned into a spider.
G. The “most happening” city in Greece.
H. Girl who let evil and hope into the world of men.
I. The hero who escaped the labyrinth.
J. The girl that Hades kidnapped and later married.
K. Gorgon woman whose face could turn a person to stone.
L. Titan who swallowed 5 of his children.
M. ½ man ½ bull that eats human flesh

Road of Death

Do you think that a piece of land can have it out for a person? Maybe even hold a grudge? There is a piece of land near the Idaho/Utah border that has it out for me. I have had A LOT of car mishaps along that stretch over the years, but here are the top three:

1. A few years ago my alternator went out on that strip of land and I spent the next few hours trying to get home. I would drive for 20 mintues, stop, turn off the lights, and let the battery charge for 20 minutes without ever turning off the car. If I waited too long between rests, my car would protest by turning the headlights off.

2. I had just had knee surgery and was wearing a leg brace that ran from my thigh to my ankle. My car vapor-locked along the cursed stretch and stranded me at a gas station for an hour and a half while I waited for the tow truck. When he finally came, he brought one of those GIANT trucks, and I had to literally use the seat belt to scale my way into the cab, dragging my useless leg behind me.

3. And then Wednesday night, I was driving home in the rain, and I had my first tire blow-out on the highway...on THAT stretch of road! It looked as if something had tried to take a large bite out of my tire.

I wonder if one of these days that road will just open up and swallow me whole.

Grown Up

I graduated from college. Therefore, people are assuming that I am now a "grown up."

However, the last time we held parent teacher conferences at the school where I work, I was speaking to a parent about his daughter's work habits, and he said something along the lines of, "Oh, I see. Now, are you an eigth grader here too?"

He was a little embarrassed when I explained that I am a twenty-three year old college student.

I'm teaching full time now, and I have my own classroom. But I guess my question is whether I can be a "grown up" if I am still being confused with thirteen-year-old students.

Horrible

You know what I hate? When you get that itch that is halfway between your ear and the back of your throat. It's sort of just beyond the point where you could do anything about it from either direction.

And it just sits there.

Itching.

Educational

I am a teaching assistant/substitute at a local k-12 charter school.

I spend MOST of my time with the middle school students (6-8).

This is quite adventurous.

Here are 5 things I saw happen in the last week(ish).

1. An eighth grader who ran into a wall, punching a four foot hole through the plaster.
2. A boy licking a stick of deodorant.
3. A boy who wanted to show me just how far he could stick a pencil up his nose.
4. A boy who stuck a staple so far into his ear that I couldn't get it back out.
5. The principal body checking the PE teacher in order to win a scooter board race.

Never a dull moment in public education.