Tuesday, October 24, 2006

free hugs

I'm really not a touchy-feely person. However, I have a weak spots for hugs. Good hugs. In fact, it is my goal in life to have a legitimate "running hug" like you see in the movies. You know the ones I mean. They are usually accompanied by a triumphant crescendo or maybe some cheesy dialogue from the actors. But it's the hugs that matter.

Since today is one of those days where I really feel like I could use a hug, I decided to post a video clip I saw a few weeks ago. After all, a person needs three positive touches a day to stay healthy. So hug your neighbor. You'll be doing them a favor.

Friday, October 06, 2006

Good King Russell

Happy Birthday, Russ!

Thursday, September 07, 2006

On the right foot

I fell down today.

I was sitting in the library, so engrossed in my essay on the fate of Prometheus that I did not realize that my foot had fallen asleep. When I stood to find a printer, I put my weight on my dead foot, and collapsed, arms flailing, across the aisle. I smashed into the boy on the other side of my row, simultaneously crushing him against his desk and mauling nearby backpacks as I struggled to get my lifeless foot to hold my weight.

To their credit, no one in my immediate area burst out laughing.

There's nothing like getting the semester off to a good start.

Monday, August 21, 2006

Dead Animals

I watch things die a lot. It's not on purpose. There is a television stationed above my counter at work, and it's constantly playing shows about hunting and fishing. At first I didn't notice it much, but yesterday I realized how many deaths I had witnessed in one sitting. I counted 11 deer, 4 turkeys, 14 geese, 5 pheasants, 8 fish, and a bear. Grand total: 43 dead animals.

If this keeps up, am I putting myself at risk for becoming a serial killer?

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Retail Delights

So I recently got my first retail job. After a week, I was completely convinced that there was nothing redeeming about working retail.

But then he showed up.

Gary Coleman. In my store. At my cash register. Buying a walking stick that looked like a telescoping ski pole.

So what if I can't ever remember watching his television show?

He paid with a card, meaning I had his autograph for about 10 seconds until I had to put the sales slip on the peg with the rest of my card slips. Oh well.

I'm hoping that next week I'll see Fred Savage or maybe that kid from Growing Pains. A girl can always hope, right?

Monday, July 17, 2006

Under the Table

I would like to introduce you all to a new sport. It's called Tabling. (Table-ing.) Think bouldering only with the furniture in your living room instead of actual rocks. The goal is to begin on top of the table, climb all the way underneath and get back up the other side without ever touching the ground. It's gonna be the next big thing, I'm sure of it. Next time you find yourself with nothing to do and a sturdy kitchen table...give it a shot! What have you got to lose?

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Oh Crud

A group of us went to a Salt Lake Bees baseball game last weekend.

(By the way, I have a problem supporting teams whose mascots are INSECTS. I am a firm believer that teams should try to keep their mascot creatures in the "Bigger Than A Breadbox" category.)

The game was excellent. The weather was perfect. Our seats were great. Kelly had just settled back into her seat after thrilling our portion of the crowd with her own personal rendition of the YMCA dance when disaster struck. Apparently, a local bird had not been too keen on Kelly's dance moves, and decided to voice his opinion by landing a mess of bird poop right in Kel's lap.

According to the old superstition, being pooped on makes Kelly the "lucky" one. Personally, I think it's probably the other way around.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

River Rats

I come from a family of River Rats. At my house, Memorial Day means RAFTING. My family made our annual trip up to Shoup, Idaho to run a stretch of the Salmon River, and I managed to con Russ and Kelly into coming along.Rafter Megan and Rafter Kelly all geared up and ready to raft. The trick is to wear your shorts OVER your wet suit. Then you look REALLY cool.

Here is the brave crew. The river is a bit daunting when the weater is cold, the water is high, and the wind is blowing. We only had three boats run this year. Usually there are 8 or 9.

Landslide Rapid: Class 4, Big Rollers, Nasty Quarter Wave on the Left
Kelly and Russ's boat made it through unscathed.

The next boat didn't fare quite as well. (That's a full-sized raft carrying 8 people.)

And here are the survivors. It rained for a lot of the trip, and there was a soggy sleeping bag or two, but all in all the trip was a winner. Everyone stayed in the boat and no one dropped a paddle. And really, that's what counts, right?

Friday, May 19, 2006

Who needs knees?

So I tore my ACL a few months back, and my day of surgical reckoning has come and gone. This entire experience has been quite educational. I now know that jello and backless gowns are not just hospital urban legends. Morphene, while interesting, really should be avoided whenever possible. Leg braces are evil. So are crutches. And stairs. And when my foot swells up, it definitely resembles a walrus flipper.

Needless to say, I've found myself with some spare time recently. This is how I've been trying to fill it:

Number of Movies Watched: 30 something

Books Read: Mio, My Son, A Man For All Seasons, Walk Two Moons, Pathki Nana, Kim, Mere Christianity, and part of Jesus the Christ

Consecutive Days Without A Shower: 6

Hours Spent With Leg Attached to Ironing Board (CPM Machine): 18

So I'm in the market for new forms of entertainment. Any recommendations for books and/or movies would be greatly appreciated. Thanks.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

The truth about homework

Lately, I've learned a lesson that I wish someone would have told me about years ago. Homework is a genuinely bad thing. Being responsible actually makes your life HARDER! I am prepared to back this claim with evidence.


Case #1: I recently took a stats test. As my first test had not exactly been a "home run," I stepped up the studying, and spent a lot of quality time with my notebook and calculator. And the result? I DID WORSE! My score dropped!

Case #2: In an attempt to illustrate the positive effect reaching goals can have on a person, my professor recently assigned my class to set a goal, and report back on our findings. (I know. Weird assignment.) My goal: join the ward's soccer team. So I did. And what happened? I blew out my knee. (What does ACL stand for anyway?)

In conclusion, I would just like to post this general warning. Despite what you might have heard about homework, it is really something to be avoided whenever possible. Trust me. Your grades and your health are hanging in the balance. I trust you will make the right decision.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Forecast: Snow

Sometimes I have to smile when people complain about the weather in Provo. Don't get me wrong. I too have dealt the annoyance of icy car windshields and slick sidewalks on campus. I am just as anxious for Spring as the next guy. But when my family sends me pictures from home (like this view from the cabin's back door), I start to think that things could be a lot worse.

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

Star's Hungry Foot
So kelly says I have to blog something before my blog shows up. (Meaning blog can be both a noun and a verb....) Anyway, so here is my short story. Yesterday, I walked past a guy on campus who was sporting a shirt which read, "Everytime you don't shave, God kills a kitten." I was alarmed enough to do a double-take, stop walking, and nearly be killed by one of those weird reflective doors at the Wilk. Sometimes I think too much time in Provo does scary things to people. Okay, Kelly says I can now commence the blogging....?