Lucky Enough

Work, Sometimes

2012-01-04T20:58:00.000-08:00

Work, Sometimes

I was sad all day, and why not. There I was, books piled

on both sides of the table, paper stacked up, words

falling off my tongue.

The robins had been a long time singing, and now it

was beginning to rain.

What are we sure of? Happiness isn't a town on a map,

or an early arrival, or a job well done, but good work

ongoing. Which is not likely to be the trifling around

with a poem.

Then it began raining hard, and the flowers in the yard

were full of lively fragrance.

You have had days like this, no doubt. And wasn't it

wonderful, finally, to leave the room? Ah, what a

moment!

As for myself, I swung the door open. And there was

the wordless, singing world. And I ran for my life.

-Mary Oliver

The Hobbit

2011-12-22T11:36:00.000-08:00

Here's something, if you are as nerdy as I am, that will please you immensely.

They've put out a trailer for the first Hobbit movie:

http://trailers.apple.com/trailers/wb/thehobbit/

Suffice to say that I loved the books and the other movies with all the pieces of my crooked little heart, so I am ridiculously excited for the next movies.

Also, I like the actor they've chosen for Bilbo. I've seen him in another show, and I think he'll be able to portray Bilbo's fussy worrying quite well.

Unfortunately, they won't be releasing the movie for an entire year. December 2012.

I guess that means if we all survive the end of the Mayan calendar, we can go to the movies to celebrate.

So Good

2011-12-19T15:37:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I was reading a book. I got to a part where the scene was so good that I dropped the book and slapped my hand over my mouth. For half of a second I was a little shocked when the movie inside of my head cut off. Then I remembered that I was reading, so therefore, if I wanted to know what happened next, I'd need to actually hold onto the book.

Yeah, that kind of reading is fun.

Taking Flight

2011-12-07T06:32:00.001-08:00

Someone: So, what did you do yesterday?

Me: I flew an airplane.

I really want to have this conversation with someone. Because I totally flew an airplane yesterday.

Best Parts in Random Order:
1. I drove almost the entire time. Immediately after take-off, the pilot said, "Here, you drive. I'm going to try to get a picture of this." And he craned around to try to get a picture of the sunset with his cell phone.
2. I drove the plane up Provo Canyon, around the backside of Timp, and down American Fork Canyon. Never been shoulder to shoulder with a mountain like that!
3. My instructor taught me some "pilot maneuvers" like stalling the plane in midair and 45 degree turns.
4. Then we tried to make me sick. Rolling ups and downs where we tried to float a crumbled up ball of paper in the cockpit.
5. I landed the plane.

Holy cow, guys. I highly recommend this.

Thanks a zillion, siblings, for making it happen!

Advice From A Man Who Doesn't Speak

2011-11-26T12:29:00.000-08:00

Well said, Charlie.

"What a Kid Is"

2011-11-01T15:23:00.001-07:00

My class is reading Jerry Spinelli's "Loser" right now. There is a line in one of the chapters--in the middle of the unlikely hero's selfless quest--that sticks out to me each year. It describes the time when the main character's little sister ran away:

"But in the end she stopped. Funny thing, she never slowed down, she just stopped, in the middle of the street. She stopped and turned and looked at him and his father and just plopped her apples right down on the street, one car coming to a stop, another swinging around them.

She had been utterly pleased with herself. "I runned away!" she chirped, and the sun was no match for her smile. And Zinkoff saw in that moment something that he had no words for. He saw that a kid runs to be found and jumps to be caught. That's what being a kid is: found, caught."

Found. Caught.

There may be something to that.

Getting Lost

2011-08-03T15:00:00.000-07:00

Warning: This is a long, wordy post about a mundane, unimportant topic in which I air my opinions simply for my own gratification. No one should feel obliged to actually read it.

I'm vaguely embarrassed about writing this.

After all, writing entire blog posts about television shows that everyone else finished with years ago hardly seems like a worthwhile use of my time. But, as I have a tendency to subscribe to the "Big Gulp" philosophy of entertainment, I've been a bit fixated lately. And I would like an outlet.

So here we are.

I've been watching Lost--you know, the television show? I didn't watch it when it was actually on, not even when my friends recommended it repeatedly.

I tried watching the first season on DVD while grading papers during my first year teaching, but that didn't work out very well. I was already seriously, seriously stressed out ALL the time... watching Lost to "relax" was a little less than relaxing.

But lately I've had some time on my hands, so I thought I'd give it a try.

My hat goes off to the writers. Very effective. I've cheered, cried, yelled profanities at the screen, and very nearly thrown the computer across the room. (I blame that last piece of near-violence on Ben. I hate him.) As I said, very effective.

But here's the rub... I'm starting to get scared that it's going to spiral out of control. The longer a television or book series goes on, the larger the plot becomes. The great writers still manage to hold on to all the pieces, and end up with a strong, credible ending. But sometimes, the writers lose control of their own beast. It gets too big. They start losing track of the details. They start leaving things out, making big leaps, having characters do things that are contrary to the development they've been given. And in doing these things, the writers accidentally "pop the bubble."

It was my high school drama teacher who explained about the bubble. Actors, writers, their job is to put you in a bubble where you get to spend a little time somewhere else. You're supposed to forget you're at the theater. On your couch. Wherever. You're supposed to be sucked in, so that at the end, when you do finally remember where you actually are, you feel like, "Whoa. That's right. I'm sitting on my couch. I am not in the middle of the jungle being chased by a polar bear."

That's good writing/acting.

So, when something goes wrong, when (for whatever reason) the bubble pops prematurely, the audience feels disappointed and distracted, and it takes time to get back into the story.

Oh sure, there are always those stray thoughts ('Where do they keep getting all of these tarps? I mean, seriously. Who even HAS tarps on an airplane?' or 'They've been there for three months... and Kate still doesn't need to pluck her eyebrows?') but those are easily ignored. It's when the story itself gets lost that your "bubble" takes the hit.

I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. It's those moments when you're going through a story and something happens that just feels wrong. I'm not talking about conflict, or surprises, or difficult emotions--we actually like those. I'm talking about when something occurs, and you stop, and your brain goes, "...what? That wouldn't happen." And POP! You are out of the bubble.

It's disappointing every time.

So far, Lost has hung in there! Bubble intact. The writers are great, the actors are very effective, and I've totally been sucked in. But I know where it's going next. Trippy time travel, alternate universe sort of stuff.

I'm crossing my fingers that the writers can keep it together. They already have SO MANY questions to answer, and I'm only halfway through. Three more seasons of this and the plot is going to be HUMONGOUS. Regardless, I'm REALLY hoping I get to stay in the bubble. Cuz so far, it's been quite the ride.

Don't tell me what happens, okay?

Advice for Life on the River

2011-07-29T12:29:00.000-07:00

Proverbs 22:6:
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

My thoughts, midflip? Clear as a bell:
Don't drop the paddle.
After all those years of safety talks, you could say I have been thoroughly trained!
My dad would be so proud.

Pictures courtesy of Mark Hoza and Brother Durd.
Panther Creek Rapid, Salmon River, Idaho

Unexpected

2011-06-09T18:16:00.000-07:00

Today was the last day of school. When the bell rang to dismiss for summer, I was fully anticipating the usual war whoops and shrieks of delight. Instead, much to my surprise, half the class BURST INTO TEARS! No kidding! I just stood there, totally aghast, as my sixth graders had an all out bawl fest. The girls desperately hugging each other, as stripes of mascara dripped to their chins. The boys, red-faced, knuckling their eyes (one boy out and out sobbing), slapping each other on the shoulder and back.

I was totally beside myself.

The problem, I do realize, is that a chunk of the class will not be returning to NSA for middle school. But that happens every year.

Crying about summer vacation?

That's got to be a first.

Borrowed from a friend

2011-04-13T14:52:00.000-07:00

I want movement and not a calm course of existence. I want excitement and danger and the chance to sacrifice myself for my love. I feel in myself a superabundance of energy which finds no outlet in a quiet life. Leo Tolstoy

Dwelling

2011-03-28T20:08:00.001-07:00

Last Friday, I took my very first "I'm so frustrated I can't stand to be here any longer without punching someone" day off.

There were a myriad of reasons. But I won't dwell.

Instead, in an attempt to put things in perspective, I decided to dwell on other things today.

Like how nice it is to use the snooze button. I never did this--not in high school, not in college--because I thought it was abominably rude of people to wake everyone else up several times instead of just the once. But now that it's just me, I can snooze as much as I like! 40 minutes worth of snooze buttoning!

Like how my fabulous, fabulous teacher's aide tidied my desk for me when I was gone on Friday.

Like how that one student finally (yes FINALLY) raised her hand to ask a question!

Like how much I like Harmon's. Yeah, the grocery store. They're superior. They have nice produce. They have not one, but three different brands of marscapone cheese! And to top it all off... they were selling SALTED CARMEL GELATO. I know. I know.

Tomorrow I'm going to dwell on corned beef and cabbage. Want to come and dwell too?

Today

2011-01-21T17:05:00.001-08:00

Today was the sort of day when I realize why it's sometimes a good idea to cut people some slack. There is really only so many things a brain can do before it simply gives up.

So, here is today's list set in my neck of the woods.

Today I:

Woke up at 4:30.

Went to Walmart to shop for clusters AND the party.

Arrived at work early (but not early enough).

Briefed a coworker on an IEP.

Prepped a Study Island assessment.

Held a class reteach in math so my students could take their math test.

Held a one-on-one reteach with a student who struggled.

Graded the history tests.

Graded student presentations on their literature projects.

Presented a lesson from our Core Knowledge curriculum.

Gave a spelling test.

Lead a cross-curricular activity to try to fit more Social Studies curriculum into Language Arts while also tapping into the outcomes of my students' Interest Surveys by presenting it in a manner that allowed them to perform.

Made extra copies of the party schedule and stuffed them in the designated station bags.

Had the technology teacher show me how to disable the filter so I could play music at the party.

Created a playlist of music from the 50s for the musical chairs station.

Checked in my students 2nd set of biography fact cards.

Introduced the Tournament of Champions, had the students choose which role in our classroom medieval village they would like to assume, and judged a contest which determined where our village would be located.

Started the charcoal (using my charcoal chimney) out on the asphalt.

Taught cluster kids how to make banana boats and dutch oven cobbler.

Cooked the food.

RAN into the building at the closing bell, and handed out last minute supplies for the party.

Threw a party for 165 elementary students, which involved 7 different stations from 7 different time periods, complete with treats and prizes. Served cookies at the door on the way out.

Stayed to finish next week's Learning Plan.

Drove home.

My next plan is to eat. I'm totally going to eat chips and dip for dinner. And no one is going to stop me.

The Amazing Technicolor Russell

2011-01-19T20:30:00.000-08:00

Favorite Russell moment of the week:

Russell swathed in my Ikea rainbow-striped blanket, spinning around my living room, belting fragments of songs from Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat while dragging a string under his foot for the cats to attack.

Awesome.

Grand

2011-01-05T21:04:00.001-08:00

My family embarked on an epic road trip this holiday season. One of our first stops was the Grand Canyon. Now, I've seen the Grand Canyon from a distance, but I've never been there. So, I give you the Grand Canyon!

Yeah. Did I mention it was cloudy?

So we visited the Watch Tower and took a lot of pictures instead.

Maybe next time...

Aeroplano

2010-12-28T10:19:00.000-08:00

Last night, I flew out of San Diego headed for Sacramento. My sister dropped me off just after 6 o'clock pm. I was pleasantly surprised that the lines for both check-in and security were relatively short and moving quickly.

I arrived at my gate about twenty minutes later.

And I finally got on the airplane at 10:20 pm. Then we sat in the plane until 11:00 pm, because they could not find anyone to load the baggage. (Really.) Which meant I finally reached Russ's house at about 2:00 this morning.

Now, the point of this post is not to gripe about holiday travel. Really, I just bought a book at the airport gift shop, and read for several hours. (Big personal sacrifice.) The point IS that whenever I surfaced from my reading material, I took stock of how my fellow passengers were holding up.

Based on several hours of observation, I have found that there are key "types" of passengers.

Type #1: The Hostiles. With each announcement--delayed, delayed, broken plane, problem with the luggage--these people became snarkier and louder. Specifically, there were two guys sitting behind me that let out a string of expletives one expletive longer each time the airline representatives made another announcement.

Type#2: The Martyrs. While these people weren't shouting or cursing, the corners of their mouths were dipping lower and lower with each passing hour. By 11:00, some of these people had become true facial contortionists.

Type #3: The Deer in Headlights. This group was largely made of parents with young children. Their faces slowly drained of all emotion, and their glassy eyes stared straight ahead as Junior sprawled unconscious across the airport floor or shrieked murder from his stroller.

Type #4: The Smirkers. There were several of these, and I liked watching them the most. They were the ones that cast sly sideways glances, quirked their lips sideways in bemusement, and maybe even let out a scrappy chuckle or two. There was one lady in particular who really seemed to think the situation got funnier and funnier as the evening went on.

I'm not sure why I felt compelled to expose you all to my mini Sociology experiment. I just thought I could take a lesson from the lady from group #4.

To be fair, I guess I should say there was also the fifth type:

Type #5: Girls who are so distracted by the book they are reading that they only realize an announcement is being made when it's already 2/3 of the way over. These girls then have to judge whether it was a good announcement or a bad announcement based on the reactions of the people sitting around them. So they stare. And then they blog about it.

Overly Invested

2010-12-09T20:44:00.000-08:00

Sometimes, I am absolutely ridiculous.

I have a problem--there are times when books, or television shows, or movies affect me a little too much.

When something sad happens, I feel sad. And then I can't shake it for a while. My mind just turns it over and over, and I find myself trying to put words to the emotions that I witnessed. As if by writing them down--even mentally--I might somehow better understand it.

I just finished watching a show on tv, and I'm feeling embarrassingly distraught.

I guess this is why I will never be a counselor, doctor, or social worker; I'd be a pathetic heap of sobbing blubber by the end of the first week.

Maybe I ought to work on that.

Anticipating Precipitating

2010-11-23T16:55:00.000-08:00

A blizzard is coming.

That's the word they keep using for it: blizzard.

From the moment I stepped out of the house this morning, everyone has been talking about it.

It's on the radio. It's waiting in my email in-box. It's the topic of special faculty meetings and teacher lunch tables. It's written on big flashing signs along I-15.

Blizzard.

In the grocery store parking lot, I watched each shopper tilt his or her chin way up, trying to read the storm clouds.

We're watching.

The world is battening down the hatches.

And I'm inexplicably excited about this whole thing.

Is it strange that if it doesn't snow, I'm going to be really disappointed?

Come on, clouds. We're holding our breath.

Getting Noticed

2010-11-13T10:51:00.000-08:00

My sister and I recently visited Sea World. We were at the sea lion exhibit, and I bought a tray of fish. Sunshine pointed out one sea lion that seemed particularly "well-behaved." The others were growling, barking, gargling, and literally trying to climb the plexi-glass to get our attention. This one just sat on his rock, looking as if he were posing for a Sea World calendar.

Right up until he decided he wanted a fish.

Remember that scene from Dumb and Dumber? The one with the "most annoying sound in the world?"

Oh yeah. Don't be fooled by all the strange sounds on the clip. You'll know it when you hear it.

I gotta say, it worked for him. He probably got half of my tray of fish.

Also, when they tell you to watch out for the birds, they mean it. I was hit in the head by birds four different times that day, and Sunshine actually had a sea gull swoop down and bite her finger hard enough to draw blood!

Bragging Rights

2010-10-27T22:33:00.000-07:00

Yep. That's right! These fantastic people are in MY family!

M.I.A.

2010-10-27T22:29:00.000-07:00

They moved to Florida.

Permanently.

Curse you, Sea World. Curse you.

Moab with Megan

2010-10-17T15:08:00.000-07:00

I spent a couple of days in Moab with Megan this last week. We started doing this when we were in high school (though Megan started going years before that). We used to be quite cocky--even somewhat stupid--about what we would attempt out there. We took a look at some of our old haunts, and it was funny to realize that I must be getting OLD! Somehow, jumping 10 feet onto slanted sandstone no longer seemed like a valuable way to spend my time!

However, that is not to say that we didn't have any fun.

"Scrambling" is always so much more fun than climbing...even if we are getting old and weak. While I was wedging my way up this crack, my shoe came off, and I had to perform some midair acrobatics to get it back on my foot. Meg kept her shoes, even when she got stuck!

I actually thought I was on top of the arch in this shot. You would think it wouldn't be that hard to tell...

Delicate Arch (in profile).

At sunset.

And, of course, the self-portrait.

Yellowstone 2010 in Pictures

2010-09-22T19:23:00.000-07:00

Enough is Enough

2010-09-01T15:46:00.001-07:00

Dear Everyone I Know,

Okay, you win. I'm saying uncle. I give up! So please, please, please STOP now!

STOP getting hurt! STOP ending up in the hospital! STOP having close calls! STOP having accidents!

Sometimes, bad things happen to good people. Therefore, you must all BE CAREFUL. Because you ARE good people!

Wear your seatbelt! Wear your helmet! Take your meds!

Because I LOVE YOU. And I am selfish. And I want you HERE. With me. Unbruised.

You are all the little pieces of my heart.

Star

100%

2010-08-29T09:42:00.000-07:00

You should try this! Here are the two quizzes I recommend: Jet Punk or Sporcle.

Here is my latest round of results:

Countries of the World Quiz

How many countries can you name? Use the common, English name. Has to be a sovereign nation, so Scotland and England don't count, etc...

Scoring

You scored 195/195 = 100%.

This beats or equals 100% of test takers.

The average score is 76.

Now if only I could go and SEE some of those places!

97.5 lbs of Frozen Fish

2010-07-27T10:33:00.000-07:00

I spent the past couple of weeks at a fish camp outside of Juneau, Alaska with my dad. The deal was that we worked half the day as Galley Staff and then we fished half the day using their boats. Adventure! Here are some of the highlights: The Mendenhall Glacier has areas of ice so blue that they look to be made out of blue raspberry Jolly Ranchers. Flying over the glacier fields on the way to Juneau was amazing--giant, ragged channels of ice that ate valleys into the sides of mountains.

There were so many bald eagles everywhere that my dad started referring to them as Alaskan Pigeons. This fellow was brilliant. He is camped out at one of the salmon fish hatcheries. The giant salmon would come along, and try to jump over the little cement partition, and land on the rock just in front of him. Alaska Zipline Tours. Courtesy of one of Durd's bus-driving buddies.

This is the first fish I caught--a halibut. At the time, we were fishing in close to 300 ft of water with lead weights to hold our line on the bottom of the sea, so reeling anything in was a challenge. I was proud of my fish, but I soon learned that that size of fish is called a "chicken" in Alaska, and it is really nothing to get excited about. By the end of the trip, I had seen people catch fish 5 times tha size, and I was throwing all of the chickens back!

My dad really liked salmon fishing. It was cool to get to spend so much time with him. He taught me how to rig up a pole, drive the boat, and net a large, angry salmon. However, I refused to be the one to hit the fish on the head with the baseball bat.

Humpback Whale. Look close. He is breaching and is about to crash back into the water.
That thing in my hands is a crab trap. I was fishing for halibut when I snagged my line on something so heavy that I could not get it up. It was obviously not a fish, so my dad had to help me hoist it in. And lo and behold, a crab trap! We fixed the trap up, and put it out for a few days, but when we went back to check it, all we had caught was a sun starfish.

Sun starfish have 18 legs! (Thanks for the picture Elaine!)

Fish camp was fun! We did an ENORMOUS amount of dishes, made a RIDICULOUS number of sandwiches, and folded sheets until I was ready to explode. But we also met some fabulous people, saw incredible wildlife, and got to experience a place that is truly like nothing else I've ever seen. All in all, good adventure.

Now, what am I going to do with all this fish?

Animal Cruelty

2010-07-01T12:43:00.000-07:00

We have two cats.

This is Dannon.

This is Morgan.

Lately, Morgan has been acting sick. She's been lethargic (even for a cat) and very sneezy. I started having flashbacks about when we fostered them when they were little and they got really, really sick. So, I decided to take them both into the vet.

They did not like riding in the car.

They started fighting when I carried the cat carrier into the vet's office.

They shed ALL OVER the exam room.

They did not like having their temperature taken. (Don't blame them.)

They did not like shots.

Dannon reacted by claiming the cat carrier and refusing to let Morgan back in. I've never really seen her act like that! The vet said it was normal...

So while Dannon was in the backroom getting worked on, I closed Morgan in the cat carrier, and I got a cardboard box carrier for Dannon so I could keep them separate on the ride home.

We got them back in the car. And Dannon was suddenly possessed by a horrible demon of some sort. She yowled and screamed and scraped and slammed. She sounded like she was trying to imitate a character from Duck Tales! I had NEVER heard her do ANYTHING like that!

Keep in mind, this cat usually enjoys confined spaces...

I tried talking to her to calm her down, but the craziness just escalated for the entire 3.5 miles home from the vet.

When we pulled into the driveway, I leapt out of my seat, ran around the car, threw open the door, and found Dannon sitting free in the backseat.

Here is what the cardboard carrier looks like now.

She had somehow managed to squeeze out of that hole.

Apparently, there will be no road trips with the cats....

Ranger Aide Norman

2010-06-28T17:43:00.000-07:00

My sister Norman is working for the Department of Natural Resources for the summer. We went to visit her.

This is Norman.

This is her home.

Whilst visiting, we went to see Minnetonka Cave.

Why, Foreesto! What a manly beard you've grown!

They kept repeating the fact that there were 444 steps in and 444 steps out.

Foreesto descending into Hell. No really! That's what they called this portion of the cave. (Note the red lights for the added effect.)

This is a very blurry picture of my parents.

On this trip we also visited the Pickelville Playhouse, rode jetskis, ate fist-sized marshmallows, and very nearly ran over a skunk. I recommend the cot in Norman's trailer to anyone who wants to "get away from it all."

Soccer Flops

2010-06-15T09:03:00.000-07:00

The FIFA World Cup is in full swing now, and Russ and I have been watching the matches every morning. I have a lot of respect for these athletes, and I love to see squads from all over the world get together to play. Man, these guys are good!

But sometimes I have to go do something else, because I get so TIRED of watching these grown men throw themselves on the ground, rolling in fake agony because somebody on the other team kicked them in the shin guard. When they start flopping, I feel like I am watching a two-year-old have a tantrum in the grocery store. And then they just jump up and run for another 55 minutes as if nothing happened... becuase in most cases, nothing did.

Steve Nash broke his nose, put it back in place himself, and kept playing. In high school, my best friend Megan broke her arm in a soccer match and still finished the game! So why do these super-talented, super-strong men pitch full on fits any time they fall down?

(I do feel inclined to say that a real injury is a real injury. If you are hurt, you obviously should get help. Heck, I blew my knee playing soccer. I know how that goes.)

Oh well. Here's hoping it doesn't effect the overall scores too much.

Go Ivory Coast!

24 Hours of Super Awesome Nothingness

2010-06-05T15:38:00.000-07:00

Coming up on 24 hours of summer vacation...

So far I have:
1.Eaten at a restaurant
2. Taken a 3 hour nap.
3. Watched the last 4 episodes of Jerciho.
4. Stayed up until 4 in the morning to finish my book.
5. Slept until eleven.
6. Visited Riverton Art Festival.
7. Purchased cartoons at the Hollywood Video closing sale.
8. Eaten tacos at the little league fields.
9. Purchased plants (zucchini, tomato, red bell pepper, purple bell pepper) at IFA.
10. Took a 2 hour nap.

Next?
Dinner at Marshall and Lauren's.
Rodeo in Herriman.

Teachers love summer.

The Cup

2010-05-27T20:16:00.001-07:00

#1. Elementary Carnival Preparations

Positive: I managed to figure it out. I used our entire budget, got the administration on board to spot us the rest, and managed to rent a dunk tank and an inflatable slide and obstacle course.

Negative: It took FOREVER. Making phone calls on every break I had to try to get in contact with people who inevitably needed to call me back later... Stressing about money. Stressing about disappointing the kids...

#2. Moving

Negative: Again. And of course it would have to be the same week (same day!) as the carnival. So now, once again, everything I own is in boxes in Russ's garage.

Positive: At least when I moved there six months ago, I did not actually take all of my stuff. I mean, hey, if you never actually set up anywhere, then the take-down aspect of it becomes that much faster! And now I don't live alone in a house that makes creepy creaking noises whenever the wind blows.

#3. Elementary Carnival

Positive: It was really nice of the librarian to help me find all those extra parent volunteers. And we had enough going on that the kids stayed busy. The SBOs LOVED the dunk tank, and since we were outside, I did not have to orchestrate a schedule for the event.

Negative: Oh. My. Gosh. 215 kids as of the morning before the carnival. (Not counting the kids that brought their permission slips in that day.) Ridiculous budget! Parent volunteers who finally showed up 15 minutes after the party started. Broken promises from coworkers. Grr.

#4. Rafting Trip is Cancelled

Negative: I was really, really looking forward to this trip. The Memorial Day trip was supposed to be the light at the end of the tunnel. Disappointment. So why did I take Friday off? Especially because there is SO much to do right now!

Positive: Now, I can stay and get things done. I can watch Russ give his graduation speech, and I will get to attend Carly's birthday party.

#5. Flat Tire

Positive: It is not actually hurt. The guy at the tire place said there was no hole, so I will not have to pay to fix the tire.

Negative: The guy at the tire place said someone probably deflated it as a prank. Which possibly means a student vandalized my car. And that is most definitely NOT okay.

So, what shall it be then, Cup? Which is it? Are you half-full or half-empty?

Live Long and Shoot Aliens

2010-05-20T21:05:00.001-07:00

This week I survived a reconnaissance mission to a new planet, witnessed first contact with an alien species, was fired upon by proton torpedoes, and narrowly escaped the shock wave set off by an exploding star ship.

Really, it happened!

You want to know the best part? My 12-year-old students were the ones running the ship.

This week I took my students to the Christa McAuliffe Space Education Center. It is located inside of an elementary school in Pleasant Grove.

In the days leading up to our "mission," my coteacher and I assigned each of our students a position on the star ship: captain, first officer, ambassador, engineer, right wing officer, left wing officer, and so on. The center even supplied us with descriptions of each of the jobs and recommendations for skills a student would need in order to be successful in that post. We briefed the students on their "mission" before leaving on the trip.

At the center, we broke the kids down into their "flight crews," and then we went into the simulators. Walking through the door was really like stepping into a spaceship... or at least the set of a Star Trek episode. Each student had a costume based on their position. Each student had their own computer, training, and aspects of the "ship" that they were in charge of.

I'll save you the rest of the details, but let me just say that I was totally sucked in! My kids did well--some better than others--and we came very close to exploding in the end, but we DID survive. And the success had my kids leaping out of their seats and cheering.

Also, I learned some things about myself:

1. I still have an over-active imagination.

2. I must admit to being a super-nerd.

3. I don't deal well with stress. One of my students later asked me why I had been making faces while she was negotiating with the hostile aliens. I didn't tell her it was because I was biting my tongue to keep from shouting out helpful hints.

My favorite part was when one of my quiet, shy girls came running through the room holding a ray gun. She stopped, locked her eyes on me in a frenzied half-panic, and shouted, "I JUST SHOT AN ALIEN," and then ran back out of the room.

Totally awesome! I want to go back. They let adults come and rent the simulators too.... Anyone interested?

Don't Try This At Home

2010-02-27T12:26:00.001-08:00

I recently saw one of the most intense movies I have ever seen.

It was not about murderers, ghosts, or criminals.

It was about rock climbing.

At the Banff Film Festival this year, they showed a film about Alex Honnold, a 24-year-old free soloist who is currently enthralling rock climbers everywhere with his outright ridiculous adventures.

The kid climbs gigantic cliffs without a rope. No rope. No equipment. No one to catch him when he slides off. Thousands of feet in the air.

During the film, he climbed Midnight Buttress in Zion National Park AND... are you ready for this... Half Dome in Yosemite.

Yeah, he just walked up to the bottom of Half Dome, grabbed on and started climbing! For 600 meters!

One mistake and you get a 2000 foot drop to the valley floor and certain death.

Oh. My. Crap.

I have never been more on edge watching a film. My hands were sweating!

The kid is nuts. Completely awesome. But nuts.

You can watch the opening clip of the movie here.

Ka Mate! Ka Mate!

2010-02-27T10:32:00.001-08:00

This week, I've had the first words of the Haka stuck in my head. Ka Mate! Ka Mate! Ka Ora! Ka Ora! Meaning, "It's death. It's death. It's life. It's life."

The reason for my slightly morbid musing? The Elementary Winter Luau.

So, remember the Halloween Party debacle? How I walked into the gym to find tons of screaming children, and all that careful planning we had done proved fairly useless? Adults abandoning the ship left and right?

Yesterday, I had the chance to go through that experience again. But this time things were going to be different. THIS time, I was going to be ready.

So I enlisted some vital key players: the secretaries, my coteacher, my teacher's aide, and the librarian.

The secretaries battled like She-ra to enforce the permission slip deadline, taking on angry parents and belligerent coworkers.

My teacher's aide and coteacher made phone calls, took trips to Walmart, and helped design the craft.

The librarian taught my Social Studies classes for an hour and a half on the day of the party.

And I had help from unexpected sources as well! During the party, I looked up and spotted two middle school teachers in there helping with the kindergartners! Even my sixth graders rose to the occasion when I marshaled the troops and sent them off to help with the various activities.

End result: Elementary Winter Luau

Number of kids in attendance: 145 (k-6)

Number of adults in attendance: 14

Cheesy Hawaiian outfits for the Senators: Check!

Limbo contest: Check!

Teach the Haka: Check!

Games in small groups (Hot Coconut, making lifesaver leis, playing volleyball with an inflatable octopus): Check!

Everybody gets a popsicle: Check!

Parents there at 4:00 to pick up the kids: Check!

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is redemption.

Many thanks to all those who made it possible for me to make it through without killing anyone!

Now, all I have to worry about is the Spring Carnival....

The Inner Outer Monologue

2010-02-08T20:07:00.000-08:00

At times, Russ has no inner monologue. I've been at the computer for five minutes. He's on the couch. This is a faithful account of what I have heard him muttering, humming, singing to himself.

"High on the hill is a lonely goatherd. Star does not like the goatherds. Star does not want to eat the goatherds."

Silence.

Switches to vigorously humming Prince Ali from the Aladdin soundtrack.

Pipes up with, "Would you consider me a puma head in the desert that wants to eat you?"

Me: "I have no way of answering that question."

Russ: "You should say, I am a diamond in the rough."

Goes back to singing Prince Ali.

Silence.

Tries to warble whistle. Mostly fails.

Silence. Beats the level on his Nintendo game.

Calls, "Hey, what you doing over there?"

As an experiment, I hum a few random high-pitched notes. Russ picks up the humming immediately and turns the humming into a high-pitched version of the Star War's theme.

Begins beat boxing.

Silence.

Rolls tongue loudly.

Whistling...under his breath this time.

Trying to beat box Prince Ali. Loses all track of the tune, and just starts making small explosion noises.

Silence.

Suddenly busts out with, "Cuz Star's gonna love this guy! Cuz it's ME and you see, I am a nice boy!" (To the tune of Prince Ali.)

I start laughing.

He asks what I am doing. When I do not give a clear response, he returns to smacking his lips.

He's right, though. I do love him.

Cruising

2009-12-13T20:02:00.000-08:00

My family went on a cruise over Thanksgiving. We had ridiculously fun adventures and ate ridiculous amounts of food. Here are some pictures that kind of sum things up. (Some of these pictures have been graciously provided by my younger siblings.)

Cruising Family Style

The boat

Ready for the Jungle Zipline

In case of emergency, head to the nearest mustard station.
Norman loves to muster.
Foreesto gettin' his groove on at line dancing lessons.

Durd's t-shirt dragon vs the iguana.

Momma and the monkey

Dad braving the jungle and the MOSQUITOES.
(This is about 10 seconds before I ran to hide by the fire pit until the tour was over. 15 mosquito bites in 10 minutes is TOO many!)

I like to ride on boats.

See those black blurs? Those are stingrays. We swam with them, and I got to hold them! However, until my mother gets the underwater camera film developed, this is the best picture we've got.

Foreesto at the iguana farm. Trumpet leaves, anyone?

Stormie with the assist.... The ladder took up too much room. And I can't use my arms very well when laughing.

Food, food, food. I never got hungry after the 2nd morning.

Looking fab on formal night.

He missed a spot...

Fiesta Norman.

Mom and Dad dancing the night away with the help of PASSION. (Passion being the band that we listened to every night on the cruise. They even let Dusty play with them on the last night!)

Totally awesome.
The only thing that would have made this trip better is if Sunshine and company had been along. Next time, Bramwells. Next time!

Megan Reincarnate

2009-12-13T13:50:00.000-08:00

For those of you have are fortunate enough to know my good friend Megan, click on the following link and watch this GAP ad. See the screaming blond child in the middle of the commercial?

Does that remind anyone else of Megan? Cuz, wow.

Seeing Clearly

2009-11-15T21:33:00.000-08:00

The eye doctor is not a friendly man. He announces, immediately upon my arrival, that if he cannot get the contacts into my eyes, he might have to decide that this was not the time for me to get them.

And, being the brat that I am, my first thought is, "Excuse me? YOU are going to decide whether or not I can have contacts based on whether YOU can put them in MY eyes? And if YOU can't then I just can't have contacts? I haven't even gotten to try!"

I mean, my students have contacts. My siblings and friends have contacts. How hard can it be, right?

Right.

The doctor is holding a contact on his finger. He says, "Just tell yourself not to blink."

Sure, I think. Don't blink.

And then he leans over to try to put the contact in my eye, and my face REBELS. Without permission, it pulls into this horribly grotesque, squinty grimace. And I am TRYING to get my face to relax. My brain is firing off demands ("What are you doing? Relax! Relax!"), but my face continues to cinch itself down into a teary, puckered scowl.

The doctor takes a step back, favoring me with a grouchy eye-brow quirk. I apologize under my breath, and he steps up for attempt #2.

But NOW my body knows what is coming. I can feel the muscles around my eye preparing themselves for another Hunchback of Notre Dame impersonation. My mind is chanting "OPEN, OPEN" so my right eye stays propped up. Barely. To compensate for that loss of ground, other facial muscles take up the fight, and now my mouth is pulling sideways, my eyebrows are hiking towards my hairline, and my left eye is streaming.

The doctor says, "Don't blink yet." Right. So I dig my fingers into the armrests, as my lips inch closer and closer to my left ear. And then I blink. Whether the doctor wants me to or not. Luckily, the contact stayed in place. One down.

He readies the 2nd the contact. My left eye is still streaming. I'm taking hasty swipes at it, terrified that he will tell me that I can't handle the pressure. That I'm just not contact material.

He leans over, and my left eye sets off a preemptive volley of super blinks. The doctor steps back, and I sheepishly apologize again, promising that I will try harder. He is obviously not impressed.

Gearing up my will power, I open my eye as wide as I can. I can literally feel my face twitching-- I probably look rabid--but I'm holding my own, and then YES! It's in! They're in!

The doctor is not in the mood to share in my triumphant cheering. He sends me to the next room where one of the ladies from the front counter coaches me on how to take the contact OUT.

By the time I leave the doctor's office, I look like I've been in a fight. My eyes are bloodshot, and I have been trying to rub off the mascara that has smeared itself across my eyelids. I have managed to successfully put in and take out my contacts.

However, that night I still had to have Russell call Bryant in order to have him talk me through how to get the dang things OFF.

This is going to take some getting used to.

So Very Awesome

2009-11-09T21:16:00.001-08:00

Now this, this is fun.

(Does this look like Annie is falling off the arch?)

Some days are just that good.

Bella Italia: Venezia

2009-11-06T14:15:00.000-08:00

Last stop: Venice.

We arrived in Venice late after a very long day on trains. We were staying on the island of Lido (just off Venice), and so we rode a vaparetto (water bus) to the island. The hostel we found was called Villa Stella. Yes, I am totally guilty of booking the place because it translates into "Star's House." Regardless, the place was great. It SO didn't fit in the hostel category. It was a little bed and breakfast/hotel. We had two little adjoining rooms, and each room was named after a star or constellation. (Which, of course, I totally loved!)

The next morning we went to visit Venice.

Venice was awesome because it is an island. Which means you can't really get lost. You can't get off, so you can just literally wander around the narrow, winding streets.
So for two whole days we wandered around the island, and this is what we saw:

San Marco Cathedral

Including the famous pigeons.

Weird 24-hour zodiac clock.

The Bridge of Sighs.
This was the bridge you crossed before going into prison. You would look out those little windows and see your last glimpse of the outside world. I thought it was ironic that the entire bridge is currently encased in a gigantic, sky blue sunglasses advertisement. A little too cheery...

RUSSELL'S BIRTHDAY!
Happy #28!

We went to dinner that night at a little outdoor cafe, and we shared our table with the owner's big, black cat. He snoozed on the chairs the whole time. When the owner found out, he sent us glasses of limoncello to apologize. We didn't mind--and we gave the drinks away.
We didn't have any candles on a birthday cake, but we bought gelato and Russ blew out the candles on one of the restaurant tables we walked passed.

I really liked the shops in Venice.
Book shops.
Food shops.
Mask Shops.
We found this mask shop on our first day. We decided to try to go back the next day, and it took us two hours to find the place! (And we were never more than a few blocks away!)

Venice was idyllic. Although I was tired, covered in mosquito bites, and completely out of clean clothes, I was still sad to leave. I would like to return very soon, and I recommend this city to anyone who is in need of a truly excellent adventure!

Bella Italia: Cinque Terra

2009-11-03T17:10:00.000-08:00

CINQUE TERRA!

This was my favorite area that we visited. The Cinque Terre region is a row of five tiny villages literally perched on the cliffs above the Mediterranean Sea.
You can't drive to them; you either take a boat or a train. We took a train, and got off in the 4th of the 5 villages: Vernazza.
Coming off the train was finally like stepping into that ultra-romanticized vision of Italy I'd had floating around in my brain. Little shops and houses piggy-backing each other up and down steep, narrow lanes. We did not have any kind of reservation (no monastaries here), but Russ was sure we would be able to rent a room from someone in the village.

As we left the train station, a plump, little Italian woman approached. Speaking very rapid Italian, she asked if we wanted a room, how many nights we were planning to stay, and then without hardly a pause, instructed us to follow her. And this is where she took us:

It was a fabulous, tiny, cave-like apartment that had a bed in the loft, and beds on the ground floor. I had to really scramble to communicate with our new land lady, but we ended up doing all right!

Our first stop in the village was the castle at the top of the cliff. It was literally used to ward off pirates. (Could this be any cooler?)

Here is the view of the village from the castle tower.

We ate dinner at a restaurant we read about in the guidebook that night. We ordered "six plates of fish" and this is one of the plates that we received:
Yes, those are tentacles.

The next day we hiked the trail that links all of the villages. It took us the majority of the day.

Vernazza

Corniglia

Manarola

Riomaggiore

Between Manarola and Riomaggiore there is a path called Via del'Amore. Yeah, the road of love. Apparently, there is an Italian teen romance novel that mentions the old tradition of closing padlocks as part of a lovers' pact. So we found padlocks all over the path.

We rode the ferry boat back to Vernazza that evening. It was fun to see the villages from out on the water.
Cinque Terra was my favorite stop on the trip!

Bella Italia: Firenze

2009-11-03T16:18:00.001-08:00

Installment #2:

Florence.

We arrived by train, and then hauled our luggage to the Convent of the Suore Oblate.

Just outside the convent's door spray-painted in big letters were the words "I love you." I'd like to know the story that went along with THAT...

Imagine our surprise when we got up to the convent and realized that the Sister at the desk spoke neither English OR Italian. She spoke French.... So we mimed our way through the conversation.

Once again, my room had awesome windows.

Then we went looking for dinner, and we found this.

The next morning we started things out by inspecting the city's street markets: produce, meat (including chicken heads, tripe, tongue, and sheep testicles), scarves, leather belts, t-shirts, etc.

Don't worry. Russ is NOT eating sheep testicles. I believe that is an apple tart.

Then off to our appointments at the Uffizi Gallery and the Academy. We saw incredible paintings (Botticelli's Birth of Venus and Primavera, Rembrandt's Self-Portraits, etc.), and very long hallways filled with crumbly-nosed statue heads. At the Academy, we saw incredible sculptures, including (of course) the David. Now, I know this is going to sound stupid, but all I could think of when I saw him was, "Wow, you are a big guy." The statue is WAY taller than I expected it to be! But I can certainly understand why the statue is world-famous.

After the Academy, we sat on some steps to eat lunch.

As you can see, we had taken to hauling around very large bottles of liquid, because it was less expensive than buying a small drink each time we got thirsty.

This is the crazy otter/man statue in the middle of the square.

While we were sitting there, lots of people came by asking for money. I did not give them money, but I did give away our dessert. I'm not sure Russ was thrilled when I volunteered his candy bar.

Everywhere we went, we walked past this:

Il Duomo

This is what it looked like on the inside!

That evening, we crossed the river on the oldest bridge in Florence. The bridge is lined with goldsmith shops, and the Medici Palace is on the other side of the river.
We got back on the train the following morning, and headed off toward the Cinque Terra...

Bella Italia: Roma

2009-10-31T15:03:00.000-07:00

A few weeks ago, I got to do something I have literally been dreaming about for years. I'm going to try to recap it here, but as you can imagine, travel blogs can be tedious, and there is no good way for me to summarize such an important experience.

But I'll give it a shot.

Russ and I flew out in the morning, but did not arrive until the next morning. Since I can't sleep sitting up, the overnight ride was rather boring.

We arrived in Rome, and caught a shuttle to the place we were staying: the monastery of St. Gregorio del Celio. This is what we saw when we arrived.
The building was built in the 1600s. We actually had to have keys to that big iron gate so we could come and go. The monks who lived at the monastery were very kind, and they showed us up lots of winding stairs to our rooms.

My favorite part was the windows!

Our first stop was the Vatican. We visited the Vatican Museum, the Sistine Chapel, and St. Peter's Basilica.

The Sistine Chapel was larger-than-life. Literally making me dizzy. (But that may have been due to the fact that I had been awake for around 36 hours at that point.) I was alarmed and embarrassed by the tourists' behavior at the Sistine Chapel. There are signs (in many languages) telling people that they are visiting a sacred site, and asking them to remain silent. And yet, every 60 seconds or so, an employee has to loudly shush the idiotic crowd! I was ashamed FOR them! Just shut up!

I still haven't thought of a word that can succinctly describe St. Peter's. I have never seen anything that fit into the same category of such immense grandeur. Everything about it was mammoth-sized, ornate, and detailed. Absolutely overwhelming!

The next morning, we got up (relatively) early and walked across the street to see Palantine Hill and the ruins surrounding the Roman Forum.

This (above) is a view of the monastery from Palantine Hill.

Palace ruins.

That afternoon we had an appointment at the Borghese Gallery where we saw works of art that I had studied in Humanities and History courses for years. These included paintings by Rubens and Raphael, incredible frescoes, and (my favorite) sculptures by Bernini. Apollo and Daphne and Hades and Persephone were so life-like that they were almost eerie. I also really liked Bernini's David because it there was so much movement within the piece.

That evening, we went on a walking tour of Rome. We started at the Spanish Steps and wound our way through some of the oldest parts of Rome.

Trevi Fountain

Pantheon

Fountain of the 4 Rivers

The next morning, we hopped on a bus and visited the Campo di Fiore, which is an outdoor market that specializes in produce. We bought our lunch (giant red grapes, apples, and some bread), and headed back over to the Pantheon.

The Oculus

We also swung by the Colosseum (which was at the end of the block from where we were staying) before packing up our things and heading toward Termini Station to catch a train to Florence.

Our trip to Rome was fast and busy. In fact, it was by far the busiest portion of our trip. We saw a lot of incredible history very quickly, and I will admit that I am afraid I did not process everything we saw as quickly as I would have liked. But hey, that's what you get when you can only spend 3 days there, right?

One of those days...

2009-10-28T21:15:00.000-07:00

So, I was in charge of the "Spooktacular Halloween Bop" today at my school. After studying the turnout at similar activities last year, my elementary student body officers made plans (and back-up plans in case our plans didn't take up enough time). We did permission slips, advertised, collected prizes, and bought treats. We had parent volunteers lined up. We had faculty members enlisted.

And yet, somehow all that careful planning exploded into a flaming pile of poo.

Have you ever walked into a room and found yourself SUDDENLY and UNDENIABLY faced with a sight that leaves you unable to think of anything other than ... "Ah, crap."

Yeah.

I didn't count them officially. But there were at least 130 kids at that party today.

We'd planned (and shopped) for around 80.

You want a scary Halloween party? You got it.

Good grief!

Friends and Enemies

2009-08-20T20:32:00.000-07:00

This is the tale of my relationship with Harvest Cheddar Sun Chips.

When I was attending class last fall and winter, the vending machine down the hall carried these chips. To summarize a boring story, I did weekly battle with the vending machine in order to procure a bag. More often than not (substantially more often) the vending machine would win, managing to get my dollar AND keep the Sun Chips. On more than one occasion, that machine took more than one dollar before I finally called it quits.

So, as any rational person would do, I kept going back. Every time I had class. Sometimes, I would come away with three bags of chips because the first two had lodged themselves strategically against the glass. On those occasions, there was still a feeling of disappointment. Somehow, I knew I should be happy. The chips were finally mine! But I couldn't shake the feeling that the vending machine won. I tried to mask my disappointment by calling Russ to tell him of my Sun Chip success.

Now, the Sun Chips have followed me home. I eat Sun Chips for breakfast on Saturday mornings. That vending machine has ruined my life.

Dilemma Dilemna

2009-08-20T15:40:00.000-07:00

I just wrote out the word "dilemna" on 26 student sheets.

And apparently, the internet thinks I am spelling it wrong.

It thinks it should be spelled "dilemma."

What?!

Am I the only one who was taught the "dilemna" spelling? I could have sworn I was spelling that right. I'm 25. I've been spelling it that way for a long time. You would think that I would have noticed it by now.

I really think that "dilemna" is correct!

What is the deal?

How do you spell it?

Game Face

2009-08-10T19:06:00.000-07:00

I think Clark Kent and I could be friends. You see, we both have alter-egos. However, while Clark's alter-ego leaps buildings and dashes about in smashing blue tights, my alter-ego is a little more down-to-earth. I'm speaking, of course, of Miss Hulet.

Miss Hulet does not leap buildings. In fact, she can't even reach the ceiling even if she IS standing on the desks. She does not wear blue tights--just normal ones--and it is very, very rare that she is called upon to stave off any sort of natural disaster.

However, Miss Hulet IS called upon to deal with 25 highly-hormonal, emotionally-charged 12-year-olds on a daily basis. That has to score me some kind of points.

Today, I officially put on the "Miss Hulet" persona again.

That's right, boys and girls, put your GAME FACES on!

School starts tomorrow morning.

Carnage Part 2

2009-08-08T22:17:00.000-07:00

The cats are very trendy.

The fad with the mice...so last month. The new cool thing?

If you are ever set upon by a swarm of locusts, just give us a call.

All Together Now

2009-07-19T10:23:00.000-07:00

I'm going to jam a lot into this post. And it will not be in chronological order.

Thing #1: FOREESTO RETURNS

He asked us not to be ostentatious. (So, of course, we dressed up.)

Yeah, Forest! (And Stormie)

And my mother insisted that we take a matching-shirts picture while everyone was in town.

We got to hang out with Sunshine and her kids.

I'm going to have to put my foot down now, and insist that none of my family members go anywhere for a while!

Thing #2: Uinta Camping Trip

We took a quick, over-night camping trip up in the Uinta Mountains near the summer camp where I used to work. We stopped at PROVO FALLS.
(If you haven't been there, it's totally worth it!)

While we were there, a group of kayakers were running the falls. Crazy!

We like to go camping.

Thing #3: DUSTY MADE IT INTO THE BUSINESS PROGRAM

Congratulations, Durd!

Thing #4: 4th of July

We made cherry pie with the cherries off the tree in the backyard. It was d-e-licious.

Kelly took some interesting pictures with her super-awesome camera.

Okay. That's enough for now.

Carnage

2009-07-19T09:23:00.000-07:00

So, I am now joining the ranks of people who write entire blog posts about their pets.

These are the cats.

There's Dannon, the two-face ninja cat.

And Morgan, almost-black pirate cat.

Right up until a few weeks ago I would have filled this post with stories of their idiosyncrasies (cuz man, they've got them), but now I find that the most prominent characteristic that comes to mind when I think about my cats has changed.

Now I think about death.

The cats have declared war.

On mice.

The whole problem began several months ago. Russ found the cats throwing a dead mouse through the air in the living room. (Brings to mind killer whales and baby seals.)

We've had our problems off and on, but I'm sad to report that it has escalated.

I've been home from Idaho for less than a week. In that time, the cats have brought in 9 LIVE mice. They no longer are interested in killing them. They carry them in unscathed and then chase them through the house. One evening last week, the mouse escaped! It hid under the couches until all of the furniture in the living room was turned on end, and we were patrolling with a broom, dust pan, and leather gloves.

We've learned that the quickest way to get rid of the mice is to actually pick them up! We keep a pair of leather gloves in the living room, and I've become quite adept at snagging the mouse, pinning it between my hands, and hauling it outside to dump it someplace where the cats aren't just going to turn around and bring it back in.

You're probably wondering why we kept letting them go outside if this was such a problem. Honestly, I kept thinking, "Well, how many mice can live in one back yard?"

Russ has started locking them out of the house at night.

Now, these same cats are capable of being nice, calm, relatively quiet creatures.

They don't seem like blood-thirsty serial killers.

But we're getting a little tired finding mouse heads on the garage floor.

Chop Chop

2009-05-06T21:34:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I feel like the world needs to be karate-chopped. I'm not saying I'm the one to do it. I'm not saying that I don't deserve a little chopping myself.

But there are some days when chopping seems like the only plausible course of action.

Maybe even more than chopping.

How about a nice cathartic dice?

Mona Who?

2009-04-22T18:39:00.001-07:00

Today, I went on strike.

It was Earth Day. It was nice outside. It was CRT testing. And the natives were DEFINITELY restless.

So, I did what any self-respecting teacher would do: I went on strike.

I ditched my oh-so-carefully-planned lesson on Renaissance artists, printed a page-sized color picture of the Mona Lisa, and then had my sixth graders draw their own version trading out the face for anything that they liked.

My favorites so far: Mona Chuck Norris, Mona Vader, Mona-ham Lincoln, Mona Terminator, Santa Lisa, and Ninja Lisa.

There was even a Mona Miss Hulet.

Educationally edifying to be sure.

Spring Break-a-thon

2009-04-16T22:04:00.000-07:00

If you don't like travel-blogs, stop reading. You've been warned.

SO this is the story of my Spring Break. As I stated last year, teachers LOVE Spring Break. And I decided I was going to make the most of mine.

Adventure 1: Holi Festival

If you go to Color Fest, I recommend the vegetarian food at the temple. I also recommend wearing some kind of bandanna to help you breathe during the mayhem. This is my 3rd year attending, and the party just keeps getting bigger.

Adventure #2: Moab with Kelly

24-hour-ish trip , and my first time ever checking myself into a hotel. Nothing but the best for us, so...

Behold! The Apache Motel. We knew it had to be the best because John Wayne stayed there while filming one of his movies in the early 50s.

The people there were very proud of that fact.

Moab is Moab--regardless how short the trip. Running around in the rocks is good for your soul.

Kelly vs Boulder. The rock never stood a chance.

Adventure 3: Cabin trip to Idaho

48-ish hour trip. Snowmobiled into the cabin over Conference Weekend. Listened to Conference on the radio. Had to bust through snow drifts in my truck on the way in.

Russ in geared up to go for a ride.

Adventure 4: California

Week-long trip of sheer awesomeness.

We visited the Natural Science museum in Golden Gate Park, San Francisco. They had a very impressive octopus. They also had half the city of San Francisco squeezed into one building. Afterward, we went adventuring around the gigantic park.

While we were in Rocklin, Russ's sister Kiernan had her baby. It's a girl! She's amazing! Congratulations, Kiernan!

Russ's dad managed to procure some tickets to the Sacramento Kings game.

I took this picture from our seats. We were in the 2nd row on the floor. Incredible! Also, for the record, it's impossible to tell how big those men are in real life. The Kings played the Rockets, and Yao Ming is a giant man. A giant, giant man.
Apparently, the Kings aren't very good.

They lost.

To keep the religious cultural experiences coming, we attended Russ's Aunt's Seder dinner. I had never been to a Jewish celebration before, and I thought it was wonderful. There was food, and stories, and friendly people, and candles, and they even taught us a song about a goat that your father bought for two zuzim. Very educational. Very awesome.

Keeping in line with the more traditional (for me) holiday of this time of year, we tie-dyed easter eggs at Russ's sister's house. We later used those eggs to make an easter egg hunt for Kiernan and Russ's grandparents.

We also drove back down to San Francisco to meet up with Bryant and Kelly.

We went on a real adventure. We rented bikes down near Pier 39 and rode them the 8 miles up and over the Golden Gate Bridge.

At first, I considered myself a bike-warrior.

Russ was smarter than me, and had to teach me how to use the gear shifts on the bikes. I started to get nervous when I realized that we were running out of time. If we didn't make it to the dock in Sausilito by 6:30, we would miss the ferry boat, and have to ride our bikes all the way back to San Francisco.

This is how I felt about the idea of riding my bike for 16 miles.

I was tired--and whining incessantly under my breath--but the view from the top was pretty awesome!

For the record, we made it to Sausilito in the nick of time. I experienced a moment of sheer panic as I was flying down the steep downhill toward Sausilito and I could see the Ferry pulling up to the block down below. If I would have missed the boat, I probably would have just plopped down on the dock and burst into flames. Either that or spent the night hanging out with the crazy guy and his guitar-playing Dachsund who were sitting on a nearby bench.

Spring Break is over. Russ's family was incredibly kind to host us, and feed us, and let us swim in their swimming pool, play their piano, hold their baby, borrow their car, and feed their chickens. It was over too fast.

And I didn't want to go back to school.

Saturdays

2009-02-21T13:14:00.000-08:00

Today, I read a whole book.

And Russell is outside randomly building a garden box.

Next, we're going to go to the car show and pretend that we're looking to buy a new car.

Later, I think I'll try making stuffed pasta shells.

Saturdays definitely exist for a reason.

Happiest ...

2009-02-07T14:49:00.000-08:00

My family went down to California to visit my sister's family around New Years. And what trip to San Diego is complete without a stay at DISNEYLAND?! Here are a few choice images to represent our trip:

It looks like a seal!

Fresh Fish.

Scott and Caden the student driver.

California Adventuring.

Durd has evil eyes in this picture.

Soleil enjoying the free ride.

Sunshine and Caden handling the spaceships.

Norman vs. the Turkey Leg

Russ and I stayed later one night to see a show. It was New Year's Eve and the place was P-A-C-K-E-D! Down at the waterfront, it was literally standing room only. We had quite a while before the show started, so we entertained ourselves by taking the ugliest pictures possible...

...and then laughing our heads off about it.

For the record, I think my faces were considerably uglier!

Lame Attempt at Explanation for Class

2009-01-28T23:28:00.000-08:00

For one of my classes this semester, I was asked to sit down, and write about a time I had to deal with racial prejudice. It could be any moment when prejudice occurred. My professor wanted me to write based on my senses...like poetry, she said, but it doesn't have to rhyme.

Well, I am not a poet. I am not even particularly articulate when it comes to things like this. I just thought this was an interesting exercise.

You don't have to be impressed. It's 100% fine with me if you think this is meaningless, self-righteous drivel. But this IS what I wrote:

Prejudice

Sounds like… a stupid joke. Then abrupt silence: I didn’t find it funny. Checking in on the conversations of the campers around me--candy, campfire, sports--to make sure that none of them heard what was said. A murmured reproof. An abrasive moment of quiet. A change of subject…a fizzling conversation.

Smells like… the lunch table’s familiar kitchen scents: sulfur bricks, metal pots, table varnish, and ketchup. Until the embarrassment renders the air around me insignificant, and I do not remember my senses until several minutes later.

Tastes like…canned green beans--salty with a metallic aftertaste. Green beans and disappointment and a chicken sandwich that doesn’t look so appetizing anymore.

Looks like…the face of a friend, flushed and grinning, turned upside down in your minds eye. Suddenly, they seem smaller, more ridiculous, more helpless. Suddenly, I can see right through them. The way their smile tightens in defiance to my frown. The way their face turns red, but they keep that smile cemented in place long past the time the pale joke warranted. They look like they need that smile now, like that smile is a shield. But from the looks of it, the shield isn’t really working.

Feels like…a surprising loss. Like they snatched something valuable out from under my nose. My picture of them has changed, because the person I thought they were wouldn’t think things like that…wouldn’t joke about things like that…wouldn’t expose the campers to that sort of vile talk. And I feel angry with that bolted-on smile, however desperate I may realize it to be. I wish for his sake for a retraction…or at least a decent subject change…and I feel cheated when all I get is another round of that artificial smirk. I hate racist jokes.

Coming Through

2008-12-04T15:35:00.000-08:00

You know what's good? When someone comes through for you. Maybe for the hundredth time. Maybe you always knew they would. Maybe they always will.

But it's good to be able to believe that.

Thank you for coming through.

My Two Cents

2008-11-10T15:58:00.000-08:00

I've had this idea bouncing around in my brain for several years now. It's one of those ideas that resurfaces when I am faced with difficult situations. You may find that this idea is inconsequential--maybe it's something you've had down pat for years--but I at least wanted to try to put it down on paper, because for me it's the answer to a lot of questions.

I think I can pretty much sum it up in one sentence:

We should be more interested in loving people than in judging them.

Our job is to love. It's God's job to judge.

I'm not going to waste my time detailing the exceptions to this rule. Yes, I know that there are times when we should intervene in the lives of others. Yes, I know that it is important to use wise judgment in our lives. And no, I am not saying you have to support or condone behavior that goes beyond your beliefs.

But we must love the people.

That is our job.

If I could actually figure out how to live this way, it would change a lot of things. I would spend less time focusing on the offender's mistake, and more time giving the offender a hand up. Throwing them a rope.

Because I find myself in need of a hand or a rope all too frequently.

I suppose living this way would require a lot of courage too. It is not easy to be disappointed by others without changing your view of them. But what would it be like to really invest in that idea? To do the job right?

I am more interested in loving others than I am in judging them.

Just a thought.

Zombies are Prohibited!

2008-10-02T20:43:00.001-07:00

41%

I am going to make a somewhat embarrassing confession.

I have a problem.

I have this bizarre habit of imagining what I would do in case of some kind of apocalyptic disaster.

While in the car, I examine neighborhoods, mapping routes in my head to see where I would find water, grow food, and base a defensive stronghold.

When in people's houses, I imagine what it would take to fortify the house. I find myself frowning at large windows because they would be difficult to cover successfully. I also don't like doors with big glass panels in them. If the zombies/crazies/bad guys came, it would be difficult to seal your house off quickly.

I figure out hiding places in my house, so that if unwanted characters ever came into my house, I would have several clever places to conceal myself.

I think about this more than is healthy. I would say it crosses my mind at least once a week.

I apparently need to lay off the postapocalyptic media...maybe permanently.

At least I haven't built a bomb shelter in the backyard!

ABC to the sixth degree

2008-09-28T08:37:00.000-07:00

With 7 weeks of school under my belt, I think I am prepared to make some observations about the school year thus far. Here are some of the things I've figured out:

1. This year has been a crash course in dealing with confrontational situations. Usually, I avoid unnecessary confrontation whenever possible. Some confrontation is undeniably necessary, but there are a lot of things that just don't matter that much. However, this year there has been a lot of confrontation that I could not avoid if I did not want to be steamrolled. But it's certainly been a growing experience!

2. I have come to the conclusion that if the school KNOWS they are giving you students with disabilities severe enough to effect the rest of the classroom, they REALLY ought to train you on the basics of that disability. That way you'd know what to expect, or at least how to react when your student does something way out in left field.

3. Working with friendly people makes a huge difference. Astronomical.

4. I have a problem asking for help, and I don't like to feel like I'm in trouble. (I already knew that.) So it sucks when I feel like I'm getting in trouble for asking for help.

5. 6th graders can seriously rise to the occasion. And one of the surest ways to get them to do so is to give them a responsibility and a little praise.

6. It's good to know that someone's got your back!

7. Sometimes, one positive incentive works better than all the scoldings in the world.

Tagging

2008-09-22T14:59:00.000-07:00

What were you doing 5 years ago?

1. Living with "my destiny" but sleeping on the love couch.
2. Mentally cursing that statue of Karl G. Maeser after all but failing a ZOO 102 exam.
3. Making runs to Cosmo's Connection to get rid of Dining Plus money.
4. Cringing away from any hint of Bobbella.
5. Setting records for solitaire, but not getting nearly enough sleep.

5 things of the to-do list today:

1. Assign a Circulation Road Trip Story in Science.
2. Search through the shared reading library because my class apparently read Treasure Island in 4th grade.
3. Check the tomatoes.
4. Buy tags for the cats' collars.
5. Feed Pax.

5 things you would do if you were a millionaire:

1. Move to Northern California. (Redwood Region)
2. Set up a manatee sanctuary. (I know manatees don't live in No. CA, but this is MY blog, ok?!)
3. Feed the manatees heads of cabbage, and ride them around the tank.
4. Travel, travel, travel.
5. Get a dog.

5 snacks you enjoy:

1. Celery
2. Jonathan Apples
3. Cheetos Puffs
4. Boursin cheese with crackers.
5. Turkey Pepperoni

5 places you have lived:

1. Pittsburg, PA
2. Idaho Falls, Idaho (777)
3. Oklahoma City, OK
4. Idaho Falls, Idaho (559)
5. Provo, Utah

5 people to tag:

1....anyone who would like to!

The Trouble With Lipids

2008-09-18T21:18:00.000-07:00

We've been fostering kittens for the Humane Society. We refer to them as the lipids.

One of them is the strangest cat I've ever come in contact with. Her name is Dannon. She's a hairy ball of idiosyncrasies. For example, cats are supposed to be relatively clean creatures but this one delights in throwing litter all over the laundry room. She attacks anything that moves, and a lot of things that don't move. Her most frequent nemeses are door frames, large pieces of furniture, and shoes. She takes shoes seriously... as if they wronged her in another life. She has horrible gas, slumps and lolls like a dog, and attacks her own tail.

But the most alarming problem with Dannon is that she gets into everything. She's been closed in several closets, and has climbed into the fridge, cupboards, garbage can, and dryer. The other night we realized we hadn't seen Dannon in a while. We checked all her usual haunts, but after 10 minutes of looking, she had not turned up. I was worried because there is a coverless vent under the bathroom counter, and I kept imagining her falling down beneath the floor.

Finally, we realized we could hear her in the bedroom. Russell found her closed in his sock drawer. I still don't understand how she got in there.

Too Cool For You

2008-09-06T08:52:00.000-07:00

Current trends in my classroom...whether my students are aware they have made them trendy or not.

1. Twilight by Stephenie Meyers
2. Dance-Off Competitions
3. Elmers Glue Bookmarks
4. The Eleventh Hour by Graeme Base
5. Crying Boys
6. Crackers
7. Fresca
8. Writing all over your hands with highlighters.
9. Making bets for way more money than anyone will ever believe that you have.
10. Recreate the Great Salt Lake

6th grade is very different than 2nd. (Imagine that!) But you know what? I don't miss 2nd.

How does your garden grow?

2008-08-03T13:23:00.000-07:00

Last year, I planted 2 zucchini plants in my garden. I ended up with WAY too many zucchinis. So this year, I decided I was going to show the zucchini gods what's what.

This year we figured we would be smart. We planted one zucchini. Then our garden didn't look so good. The plants were slow to get started, and the leaves of the zucchini plant were turning brown. So we planted another zucchini plant fully expecting that the first one would not make it. When we went to the plant nursery to pick up our 2nd zucchini plant we also picked up a pumpkin plant just for fun. We planted them both.

Well, the first zucchini plant perked back up, and started pumping out zucchinis at an alarming rate. The second zucchini plant is going for a world record, and it turns out that the pumpkin was mis-tagged. Can you guess what we found growing on our pumpkin plant? A zucchini that is about 17 inches long. (Not exaggerating.)

Zucchini gods: 2. Star: 0.

Looking for Ewoks

2008-07-21T13:28:00.000-07:00

10 Good Things About Northern California

1. Sea Creatures

2. Windows

3. Ewok Crossings

4. Hobbiton, USA

5. Whoa.

6. Free Rides

7. Maps

8. The Locals

9. Sasquatch's Bathtub

10. A Larger Perspective

Domesticity

2008-07-15T10:53:00.000-07:00

This summer has been full of domestic experiments. Some have worked out better than others, but it's been educational. Here are a few that I actually took pictures of:

Dutch Baby

Mini Pizzas

Fruit Pies
(from scratch!)

Pieced Quilt Top

Temporarily Fostering Cat and Kittens for Humane Society
(They live in the laundry room.)

Several Things

2008-07-06T18:38:00.000-07:00

Thing 1. Mononucleosis:

Well, it's not cool. It's boring.

Thing 2. Facebook:

Since I've been so bored, I finally joined. I found out that I know 55 people--which actually isn't very many.

Also, I think it is weird that everytime one of those people say or do anying, it shows up on my page. My little sister--the grand high empress of facebook--assures me that this is normal.

So while it WAS cool to come in contact with people I haven't seen since high school, I still feel as if I am somehow missing the point.

Thing 3. Marriage.

Thanks to Facebook, I now realize that 97% of my high school class is now married. Most with 1.75 children. Really, I think I saw 4 people who are not.

As for my own marriage, we've had to bump the date back to October. (See Thing 1.)

See, it's all related somehow.

Last Day

2008-05-27T12:56:00.000-07:00

My day of salvation has arrived. May 23rd has come and gone, and I am no longer responsible for 25 2nd graders.

But, just for kicks, I thought I would post about the gremlins one more time.

Here are a list of quotes I collected in the last few days of class.

#1 J: How can you tell if turtles are girls or boys?
JL: Girls have eye lashes.

#2 A: They put ear rings on that Kangaroo.
JE: NO!
A: Yes, just like the ear rings that cows have.

#3 M: I've kissed a dolphin before and it kissed me. (Scandalized out cries from friends.) But I ONLY kissed it on the cheek!

#4 D: Miss H, my story is not just narrative, it's informative-narrative because I told everyone facts about killer bunnies. The worst bunny is a killer bunny.

#5 JB: You know how there are pedicures and manicures? Well, what are womanicures?

I do not expect anyone to actually be interested in this blog. It just felt like a nice finishing touch.

Gremlins, adieu!

Numerical Disasters

2008-04-30T14:06:00.000-07:00

8:00

That is exact time I woke up this morning.

That is also the exact time when students started coming into my classroom.

6

The number of alarms I slept through without hearing a peep!

The hours of a sleep a night I have been getting lately.

The number of hours I spent at the Marriot Center yesterday preparing for Hope of America.

25

The number of second graders who were waiting in my room when I finally arrived.

Nothing like a little math to get you going in the morning.

Jumping for Joy

2008-04-21T07:12:00.000-07:00

Teachers love Spring Break.

Star in the Tetons.

Russell at the Jackson Hole Play House

Concert Crowd

2008-04-15T13:07:00.001-07:00

We went with my brother Dusty to a concert last night. We went to see the New Amsterdams play with Big Head ------ and the Monsters. Really, I was only interested in the New Amsterdams, but the Monsters' performance turned out to be pretty entertaining as well.

It wasn't because of the music. It was the people who had come to see the show.

It's been a while since I've been to a venue where all the people crowding in around you are in their 40s and early 50s. Lots of long-haired men with t-shirts that say things like: "One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor." From where I was standing, I saw two different men who vigorously played air guitar through the entire performance. The women were also very entertaining to watch. They usually had frizzy-fried hair, plunging necklines, and super-tight jeans.

Now, I realize that I may sound really really harsh. Please understand, I did enjoy watching my fellow concert-goers enjoy themselves. It's just not everyday that I see 45-year-olds getting busted for smoking pot at a concert.

Highlights

2008-04-15T12:56:00.000-07:00

I've been chastised for my lack-o-blogging. So, to appease the angry natives I offer this short and rather vague list of things that have been making me happy lately.

1. "Autumn Manor": Russ and I found a place to live post-wedding. Now, the hunt was not easy. We examined our budget, and were only looking at reasonable options....i.e. ghetto basement-ville. UNTIL we found Autumn Manor. It's a house. A real honest to goodness house! We LOVED it! We went to visit, spoke to the land lord, and then got in the car and drove away to discuss it. Realizing that we would be STUPID not to jump on this, we turned around and went back. And (of course) someone else had rented the place in the meantime. Ouch.
But the good news is that the land lord changed his mind. He decided he would rather rent to us, and he called us back the next day. Bangerang!

2. Two words: Spring Break.

3. I had a job interview this morning. And I felt it went well. And this school is only 10 minutes from Autumn Manor...as opposed to where I currently work which is 40.

Geography Schmeography

2008-03-06T12:59:00.001-08:00

As previously stated, I teach 2nd grade. In the last few months, I have compiled a list of geography facts I was unaware of until recently.

I'm sure you will find them educationally edifying as well.

Here are a list of places that are IN the United States.
1. North America... all of it.
2. England
3. France
4. Asia... all of it, but specifically India and China.
5. The Pacific Ocean. (Maybe like a lake?)

Here are a list of places that countries.
1. Utah
2. Lindon
3. California
4. New York

Facts I learned in the last 1/2 hour:
Mozart was born in Salt Lake City, Utah.

Really, my kids are exceptionally bright, and we have managed to get a handle on most of our geographical issues. But I don't think this is a subject where we have much room to slack off either.

52 Blessings Project

2008-02-01T13:51:00.000-08:00

The idea is simple: once a week, post a picture of something you are grateful for.

Therefore, in one year you will have a log of 52 reasons to be thankful.

I stole this idea from my sister, and she stole it from someone else. And I don't know where it started, so I am sorry if I am plagiarizing.

I'm really excited about this idea. I've already started. In fact, I made a whole new blog just for this purpose. It's called The Jonas Chronicles.

The great thing about The Jonas Chronicles is that I am probably the only one who will ever find it interesting. And I'm okay with that.

I hope I stick with it. And I think you should try it too.

Another Small Moment

2008-01-25T14:59:00.000-08:00

I was reading my cousin Jill's blog, and I found a post that got me thinking.

She was lamenting being a young mom with two kids, little sleep, and a wish to somehow complete "more" things without having her two-year-old immediately undo them. I love Jill, and I think she is fabulous, on the ball, and--perhaps most importantly--an incredible family member. And I thought if Jill can remind herself that "this is but a small moment" then I should probably take her advice. So here's the thing:

My job is driving me crazy.

I've never felt so exasperated, unorganized, and clueless. I know what you're thinking. They're just 7-year-olds! Yes, true. But there are 25 of them and only one of me. On top of that, they collectively hand in an average of 150 papers a day. They look to me for support in a near constant way. After all, I am the "primary authority figure" for SEVEN hours of their day. If they get 8 hours of sleep at night, that means they spend nearly 1/3 of their time with me. Therefore, it is little wonder that they want to tell me about every minor injury, piece of news, and dramatic realization. And really, I am happy to share that with them. But there are many afternoons when I leave school feeling like if I have to ask ONE MORE KID to be QUIET then I may very well walk out the door and never come back.

This spring the school is going to send home parent surveys. All the parents will rank the school, the principal, the administrative staff, and, of course, me! Then the school board sorts through the surveys, categorizes and quantifies our faults, and sends us into a meeting with the administration to exact a pound of flesh.

From what I've heard, it's not a pretty thing.

But you know what the kicker is? I already know what the parents are going to say! I know what my faults are! But I also know that I am legitimately trying.

So amidst all of this crazy, numbing chaos I was glad to read Jill's words. "This is but a small moment." Things that are hard or that hurt--even things that hurt you all the way down to that hole you keep behind your sternum--have a way of seeming smaller over time.

I assume that's the way this year will turn out. Exhausting and frustrating, but in the end just another "small moment."

If that is the case, I better figure out a way to enjoy this. I better figure out a way to stop feeling so frustrated. Because I hate looking back at those ugly patches in my life when I was not the person I thought I ought to be. An entire year of teaching would be a big ugly patch.

Kelly used to say, "Just do what you can do." Maybe that's the ticket. That and remembering that this really is a just a small moment, and someday it will be off in the distance, and I will be able to smile and roll my eyes.

Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

2008-01-10T14:37:00.000-08:00

I have a slight obsession with pirates. I even wrote my Senior Capstone paper on female pirates during the Golden Age of Piracy.

Last night, a bunch of us played an awesome board game where you get to BE pirates, and sail around, plundering, blowing each other up, and burying treasure.

According to the internet, my official pirate name is...

My pirate name is:

Mad Mary Flint

Every pirate is a little bit crazy. You, though, are more than just a little bit. You can be a little bit unpredictable, but a pirate's life is far from full of certainties, so that fits in pretty well. Arr!

Get your own pirate name from piratequiz.com.
part of the fidius.org network

Come on, you know you want to be a pirate.

Technology Gripes

2008-01-05T14:49:00.000-08:00

My desktop is old. Almost 7 years old now. And I asked for a big, fatty jump drive for Christmas so that I could start moving files.

I got out my jump drive this morning, and tried to turn the computer on.

Nothing.

It died.

Now, I'm in the market for a new desktop, and I am wondering how I am supposed to get my files off of the old one.

Don't you hate it when things like that happen?

Poop.

Merry Christmas, Santa Clause

2007-12-21T06:42:00.000-08:00

My class illustrated the poem "Twas the Night Before Christmas" this week. They were each assigned to copy one couplet of the poem, and then draw the illustration that would go along with that piece. (And believe me, I got some real gems.)

One little boy was assigned this line: "The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth, And the smoke encircled his head like a wreath."

He came to me confused, and when I explained the line, his eyes grew really wide, and he blurted,

"HE SMOKES? HE WORKS FOR HEAVENLY FATHER, AND HE SMOKES?!"

Nothing like a little classic literature to get you in a holiday mood!

Tagged

2007-11-25T19:16:00.000-08:00

I got tagged. I didn't know about this phenomenon, but luckily, it came with instructions attached.

The rules: A. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning. B. Each player lists 6 facts/habits about themselves. C. At the end of the post, the player then tags 6 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

#1. I love to be outside more than almost anything. Particular soft spots: whitewater rafting, hiking in Moab, and exploring in the woods. I believe that people are at least partially solar-powered, and as weird as it may sound, I think this kind of activity can have a huge influence on the way you feel.

#2. I have a deep-seated desire...no that's not taking it far enough...I have a NEED to have pets. One of my favorite games to play is "If I had a dog, I would name him/her....."
(Point and case: Russell just found a cat in the parking lot and I fed it 2 and a half hot dogs and a can of Russell's tuna.
Point and case #2: I fed a skinny dog half a roll of crackers a few days ago when my family made a pit stop on the way to Phoenix.)

#3. I love the water. I love to swim, wade, splash, float, row, water the garden, take a bath, etc. I worked as a life guard for 5 years, and I have been swimming since long before I can remember. I love it.

#4. I don't have a whole lot of shame. Or perhaps its just a lack of maturity. I make up nonsense songs and sing them in public places. I dance around parking lots, campus, and my classroom. I make sound effects when surprised or agitated. I have an entire costume box full of things like pirate swords, turbans, and kimonos. You get the idea.

#5. I'm a sucker for a good story. That'll get me every time.

#6. I have a fascination with names. I own 4 name books, and frequent baby name sites. I don't really know why. Maybe it stems from years of stupid name jokes. But I have lists and lists and lists of names stored away on computers, in journals, and on old scratch paper. However, I often call my friends and family by names that are not their own. For example, I have renamed all of my younger siblings. They are now Durd, Foreesto, and Normie. My niece and nephew are Moon Fry and Mowgli, my boyfriend is Wusso, and my dog is Pooper.

And now I tag someone else.... I tag Russ, Kelly, Annie, and Bryant. I do not expect that they will all actually respond. And yes, I realize that wasn't six people.

Dreaming of Pants

2007-11-19T08:36:00.000-08:00

I went to sleep the other night with a t-shirt at the end of my bed.

I then had a dream I was trying to squeeze into little kid clothing.

When I woke up, I was wearing the t-shirt as a pair of pants. Seriously. I had one leg through the head hole and one leg through an arm hole.

I have no idea how that happened.

Math Problems

2007-11-08T13:09:00.000-08:00

Today, I was talking my class through a tricky math problem dealing with clocks. They are still mastering the whole A.M./P.M. thing. One of my boys raised his hand and said:

"Miss Hulet, A.M. and P.M. might scare me if they were vampires."

I wasn't really sure how to respond to that...

I suppose that A.M./P.M. vampires would scare me too.

Killer Mermaids

2007-10-25T10:52:00.000-07:00

My class just finished reading Peter Pan. They completed an assignment explaining which of the book's characters they would be and why.

Here are the results of the poll:

#1 Choice: Mermaids.
(Most of these votes came from boys. They were all very interested in the idea that the mermaids had tried to drown Wendy.)

#2 Choice: The Crocodile
(They were also interested in the fact that the Crocodile was trying to eat Capt. Hook.)

#3 Choice: Tinker Bell

Other answers that I thought were noteworthy: "A killer wolf," "Starkey the pirate," and "Princess Tiger Lily."

I was surprised by the results--I was sure the principle characters would get more votes. Also, I was a little concerned that my students were all so fixated on the potentially violent characters.

I thought it would be fun to be a lost girl. [Even though the book states that there are no lost girls, because girls are too clever to end up in Neverland.]

Who would you choose?

No rest for the weary

2007-10-18T06:59:00.000-07:00

Last night I had a dream that I moved to work. I guess it was an attempt to save myself time. I set up my "bedroom" in the broom closet, and I cooked all my food in the teacher lounge microwave.

I guess you could say that work is stressing me out.

Young Love

2007-10-09T15:02:00.000-07:00

This is a conversation I overheard in my classroom today. Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Johnny (incredulous) : "Bobby, is it TRUE?!"
Bobby (with a smirk): "Yeah, why, you jealous?"
Johnny: "No--well, yeah, a little. When did you talk to her?"
Bobby: "Yesterday after school."

I was handing out papers, and I was so surprised by the shock in Johnny's voice that I looked to see what Bobby was doing. In his hands was a little homemade book. His initials were on the front alongside the initials of a little girl in my class. When I glanced her way, she had OBVIOUSLY overheard the boys' conversation, because she was gazing at Bobby with big dreamy eyes, and she was definitely blushing.

Apparently, love is in the air. They stood next to each other in line all day, and strategically positioned themselves so that they could sit together in music class. I also noted that Mr. Casanova had come to school in a collared shirt and snooty suit jacket, and he kept strutting around with that hilarious little smirk on his face.

I was flabbergasted. Boyfriends and girlfriends? IN SECOND GRADE?

Paxitron Ondomulae

2007-10-09T14:47:00.000-07:00

This is Pax. I bought him just before school started. Here are some reasons that turtles make really good class pets.

A. They do not have much escape potential.
B. You do not have to mess with water-filled tanks.
C. They do not bite. (At least in my experience.)
D. They do not smell.
E. I've never heard of anyone being allergic to reptiles.

I chose him because, of all of the turtles in the pet store, he was the one who fought hardest to escape when the sales clerk turned him loose. He's an intrepid fellow, and my students adore him. I like him too. (Even if he is a little bit ornery.)

Durd

2007-10-02T10:35:00.000-07:00

My brother's name is Dusty. (But I call him Durd.) He is an interesting fellow, because he comes up with rather creative ways to keep himself occupied. Here is a picture of one of his latest exploits:

Dusty is the one in the crocodile costume. He (and his roommate) are holding his beloved mannequin head, which has followed Dusty on many adventures (including his mission in Brazil). They have just finished running a 5k around Provo as part of the BYU Homecoming week activities. When the Daily Universe interviewed Durd about WHY he ran dressed as a gator, he shrugged and informed him that it was because of Lavell Edwards.

Durd's band is playing at Muse Music this Thursday night. If you're looking to add a little flavor to your evening, I can almost gaurantee SOMETHING weird will happen at that event. And if not, at least you'll get to hear a pretty cool show.

Outta Bed

2007-10-01T10:51:00.000-07:00

Everyone has those mornings when you DO NOT want to get out of bed.

Not that I think you really care, but here are a few of the reasons I actually make it out of bed on those particularly rough days.

Epedemic

2007-09-20T10:41:00.000-07:00

I teach 2nd grade.

Within the first 2 days of school, three of my students had legitimate bloody noses. Unfortunately, this seems to have started a trend. Now, my students have developed the habit of randomly getting up, running to the kleenex box, yanking out tissues by the fistful, and trying to shove as many of them up their nose as possible. Whether they have seen any blood or not.

After I realized we had decimated 5 boxes of tissues in 3 weeks, I put my foot down.

I'm not sure what triggers the desire to race madly to the tissue box, but I think it's going around.

Now, if only the kids who have boogers running down their faces would catch on to the trend.

Womanatee

2007-09-07T12:14:00.000-07:00

I went to Sea World with my family a few years ago. It was there that I discovered my rather inexplicable fascination with...

MANATEES!

Okay, so they are not the most exciting animals, but when I watched them sail through the water like giant swimming blimps, I couldn't help myself. I started envisioning a huge manatee tank in my backyard. I could feed them heads of cabbage, and try to hang onto them as they turn over in the water. It's like swimming with the dolphins but in slow motion.

For the record, if I had a pet manatee I would name him Fatty Lumpkin.

But since I cannot afford a manatee, I decided that I would have to sponsor one instead.

One step closer to my dream, baby.

Gelato

2007-06-28T13:28:00.000-07:00

I've never been to Italy, but I have a bit of an Italian fetish. So I was pretty stoked when I was informed that there a gelato shop just opened in Provo.

In my opinion, it left all the other dessert shops in Provo panting in the dust.

So here's the info:

Maestro's Gelato
Main street in Provo directly next door to Los Hermanos.
They may look like they're not open, but don't let the boarded-up look throw you.

Bryant and Ronnie were considering doing an advertisement campaign, which included Bryant dressed as a scoop on gelato and Ronnie chasing him through the streets of Provo dressed as a giant shovel/spoon. I think it would be very helpful for business.

I recommend the hazelnut flavor. (Unless you are Kelly.)

Now go! The little Italian dude in your soul will thank you.

Last day of school

2007-06-21T11:29:00.000-07:00

Today (finally) is the last day of school.

We had planned a "field day," and I went to work expecting a low-stress program of activities.

Apparently, I will never learn that that is NOT how public education works!

One hour ago, I found myself speeding through downtown Payson with 30 pizzas stuffed into my truck. The secretary was calling my cell phone to beg me to drive faster. I could hear hungry kids screaming in the background. And the first parents would be arriving to pick up their students in about 20 minutes.

I actually feel that that scene was a rather appropriate way to end this school year. Quintessential.

And I'll probably end up missing it. Go figure.

Thievery

2007-06-18T11:28:00.000-07:00

I planted my 1st garden this year, and I put in several strawberry plants. I was excited. REALLY exicted. I watched the plants with great interest, and waited in anticipation as the berries grew and started to turn red.

And then they disappeared.

Everytime a berry would show up and start to get ripe, I would return to find it missing.

Someone was stealing my strawberries!

Finally, a few weeks ago I encountered the thief.

A family of quail (including 12 babies that stood about 1.5 inches tall) have moved into my backyard.

I still haven't gotten to eat a single strawberry.

Could you pass Miss Hulet's class?

2007-06-15T10:14:00.001-07:00

I gave my first "final" today, and now I am curious.

My 6th graders did pretty well. What grade would YOU get?

(Remember, no cheating!)

So, here it is. Sorry about the weird formatting, but I don't know how to connect the text file to the blog.

Mythology Final

Fill in the blanks!

Greek Name.........Roman Name.........In charge of........ Attribute

[Insert]....................Jupiter........................[insert]..................... Powerful
Hades..............[insert]..........................[insert]....................... Gloomy
Poseidon................[insert]..................... Oceans, horses...............[insert]

[insert]...............Juno............... Queen, women...............[insert]

Hermes..................[insert]..................[insert].................... Energetic
[insert]..................Vulcan ...............The forge, blacksmiths..........[insert]

[insert].................Ceres.................... Plants and the harvest........[insert]
Aphrodite...............Venus...............[insert]....................[insert]
[insert].................[insert]..............................War....................... Violent
Apollo..............[insert]......................... Sun, music................[insert]
[insert]..............Diana .......................Moon, hunting...............[insert]
[insert]..............Vesta ............................[insert].......................Gentle

Matching: Write the letter of the description that corresponds with each of the names below.

Athena

Arachne
Kronos
Medusa
Crete
Prometheus
Persephone
Minotaur
Otos
Theseus
Athens .
Daedylus
Pandora

A. Created humans and was punished for giving them fire.
B. The island kingdom of King Minos.
C. Gave string to Ariadne to help rescue the Athenian youth.
D. Goddess who jumped from Zeus's head wearing armor.
E. Giant who attempted to attack Mt. Olympus.
F. Weaver girl who was turned into a spider.
G. The “most happening” city in Greece.
H. Girl who let evil and hope into the world of men.
I. The hero who escaped the labyrinth.
J. The girl that Hades kidnapped and later married.
K. Gorgon woman whose face could turn a person to stone.
L. Titan who swallowed 5 of his children.
M. ½ man ½ bull that eats human flesh

Road of Death

2007-06-09T22:23:00.000-07:00

Do you think that a piece of land can have it out for a person? Maybe even hold a grudge? There is a piece of land near the Idaho/Utah border that has it out for me. I have had A LOT of car mishaps along that stretch over the years, but here are the top three:

1. A few years ago my alternator went out on that strip of land and I spent the next few hours trying to get home. I would drive for 20 mintues, stop, turn off the lights, and let the battery charge for 20 minutes without ever turning off the car. If I waited too long between rests, my car would protest by turning the headlights off.

2. I had just had knee surgery and was wearing a leg brace that ran from my thigh to my ankle. My car vapor-locked along the cursed stretch and stranded me at a gas station for an hour and a half while I waited for the tow truck. When he finally came, he brought one of those GIANT trucks, and I had to literally use the seat belt to scale my way into the cab, dragging my useless leg behind me.

3. And then Wednesday night, I was driving home in the rain, and I had my first tire blow-out on the highway...on THAT stretch of road! It looked as if something had tried to take a large bite out of my tire.

I wonder if one of these days that road will just open up and swallow me whole.

Grown Up

2007-05-03T09:54:00.000-07:00

I graduated from college. Therefore, people are assuming that I am now a "grown up."

However, the last time we held parent teacher conferences at the school where I work, I was speaking to a parent about his daughter's work habits, and he said something along the lines of, "Oh, I see. Now, are you an eigth grader here too?"

He was a little embarrassed when I explained that I am a twenty-three year old college student.

I'm teaching full time now, and I have my own classroom. But I guess my question is whether I can be a "grown up" if I am still being confused with thirteen-year-old students.

Horrible

2007-03-18T00:02:00.000-07:00

You know what I hate? When you get that itch that is halfway between your ear and the back of your throat. It's sort of just beyond the point where you could do anything about it from either direction.

And it just sits there.

Itching.

Educational

2007-03-05T16:43:00.000-08:00

I am a teaching assistant/substitute at a local k-12 charter school.

I spend MOST of my time with the middle school students (6-8).

This is quite adventurous.

Here are 5 things I saw happen in the last week(ish).

1. An eighth grader who ran into a wall, punching a four foot hole through the plaster.
2. A boy licking a stick of deodorant.
3. A boy who wanted to show me just how far he could stick a pencil up his nose.
4. A boy who stuck a staple so far into his ear that I couldn't get it back out.
5. The principal body checking the PE teacher in order to win a scooter board race.

Never a dull moment in public education.

free hugs

2006-10-24T12:29:00.000-07:00

I'm really not a touchy-feely person. However, I have a weak spots for hugs. Good hugs. In fact, it is my goal in life to have a legitimate "running hug" like you see in the movies. You know the ones I mean. They are usually accompanied by a triumphant crescendo or maybe some cheesy dialogue from the actors. But it's the hugs that matter.

Since today is one of those days where I really feel like I could use a hug, I decided to post a video clip I saw a few weeks ago. After all, a person needs three positive touches a day to stay healthy. So hug your neighbor. You'll be doing them a favor.

Good King Russell

2006-10-06T16:42:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday, Russ!

On the right foot

2006-09-07T15:40:00.000-07:00

I fell down today.

I was sitting in the library, so engrossed in my essay on the fate of Prometheus that I did not realize that my foot had fallen asleep. When I stood to find a printer, I put my weight on my dead foot, and collapsed, arms flailing, across the aisle. I smashed into the boy on the other side of my row, simultaneously crushing him against his desk and mauling nearby backpacks as I struggled to get my lifeless foot to hold my weight.

To their credit, no one in my immediate area burst out laughing.

There's nothing like getting the semester off to a good start.

Dead Animals

2006-08-21T12:50:00.000-07:00

I watch things die a lot. It's not on purpose. There is a television stationed above my counter at work, and it's constantly playing shows about hunting and fishing. At first I didn't notice it much, but yesterday I realized how many deaths I had witnessed in one sitting. I counted 11 deer, 4 turkeys, 14 geese, 5 pheasants, 8 fish, and a bear. Grand total: 43 dead animals.

If this keeps up, am I putting myself at risk for becoming a serial killer?